La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.
My exceptionally clever friend, Wilma, thought it might be a good idea if I posted one of these “Days Since Last Injury” signs at home to keep myself on track, especially after my shin with the hematoma and my punctured ear drum. I told her I could simply have it preprinted with ZERO permanently appearing.
That same day. I bent down in the shower to soap my legs and hit my head on the faucet. I never bend down in that direction! ZERO. I’ve heard from many people that they don’t bother soaping their legs; they just let the soap run down from elsewhere. Do you soap?
The next day, I was dumping the trash and slammed my hand on a metal flange on the dumpster. Bruised finger. ZERO.
However, I have been injury free for two entire days. It’s time to shave and shower in anticipation of Elena’s arrival. What are the odds I’ll improve on my record?
Mi amiga Wilma, que es excepcionalmente inteligente, pensó que sería buena idea que pusiera uno de esos carteles de “Días desde la última lesión” en casa para mantenerme al día, especialmente después de mi golpe en la espinilla con hematoma y mi perforación del tímpano. Le dije que podía mandarlo a imprimir con CERO permanentemente.
Ese mismo día, me agaché en la ducha para enjabonarme las piernas y me golpeé la cabeza con el grifo. ¡Jamás me agacho así! Jamás. CERO.He oído a mucha gente decir que no se molestan en enjabonarse las piernas; simplemente dejan que el jabón les escurra. ¿Tú te enjabonas?
Al día siguiente, estaba tirando la basura y me golpeé la mano con una brida metálica del contenedor. Dedo magullado. CERO.
Sin embargo, llevo dos días sin lesiones. Es hora de afeitarme y ducharme, preparándome para la llegada de Elena. ¿Qué probabilidades hay de que mejore mi récord?
I’m such a delicate little flower that I can’t use soap on my skin at all without horribly drying it out. If water alone can’t get me clean, then too bad. The only exception is shampoo for my hair.
Debra:
The “soap” I use is shower gel for extremely dry skin AND a pharmacy shampoo (for the scalp, not the hair) to repair sun damage.
Your capacity for self injury is amazing. But I have to cop to constantly barking my shins on everything and stubbing my toes then hobbling about. Boud
Boud:
I have always been like this. It would be comical if I didn’t have so many scars.
Boud:
I can’t tell you how many times I have bumped the shin with the hematoma!
I will be keeping my fingers crossed that you get through the day, and perhaps even the visit, without injury.
PS I soap my legs.
Bob:
I made it through the day! I think you, a leg soaper, may be a rarity (well, we always knew you were).
I had a special ledge built into my shower, to make washing my legs and feet easier. And it is on the opposite end of the shower as things I might crash my head into.
David Godfrey:
Very clever!
Nope! It don’t work that way! I will be get out of the shower and, before dressing, see a large bruise in the mirror and go “How the FUCK did I do that? …WHEN did I do that?” Could be a day, days, perhaps a couple weeks like when I slid on the ice and fell, full force, on my left knee. Shit didn’t manifest for WEEKS after that!
I think a better sign would be “Did I wake up looking at the underside of grass? [Y|N]”
At my age, I go by what Red Skelton once said; “Any day is a good day when I wake up and don’t smell roses and see candles?”
Rade:
My bruises come out much more quickly, but I still sometimes wonder “how the hell did I do that?” I can usually figure it out.
Steady as she goes…….I am constantly hitting my left hand on something or other, leaving bruise after bruise after bruise. I was thinking maybe I could wear kitchen gloves/if there are any such things.
Focusing ‘on the moment’ is supposed to help with this…….as I continue to hit my hands. lol
Jim:
Yes, I always focus on the moment I hit something!
Well, you’re just an accident waiting to happen.
I soap my legs especially if I’ve been out working in the yard. I also soap my feet and clean between my toes. I don’t see how letting diluted soap running down your legs cleans anything but then I don’t shower every day unless I’m visibly dirty like from working in the yard. I have dry skin and I don’t think I get that dirty just sitting around the house.
ellen abbott:
I have often called myself an accident waiting to happen.
Like Rade, I am constantly spotting a new bruise or scratch that I have absolutely no idea when or how would have arrived. Well done on getting through two days without bashing, twisting or cutting anything! Jx
Jon:
I’m the same. I used to be much worse. We called it spontaneously bruising.
I seem to be good at hitting my head on things that I’ve been around forever. Like the hatchback on the car. Or is it a trunk lid? Whatever. I did that the other day and was like, “Where did that come from?” meaning the trunk lid.
No. I never wash my legs unless there is visible dirt on them. I do not seem to have suffered from this practice.
Your days since last injury signs remind me of a gunpowder factory in an area near the coast here. Long story but I did a nursing school clinical there which was an experience I’ll never forget and they have a big sign like that on the outside of the building. It says days without an accident and there’s a traffic light thing on it with red, yellow, and green lights to indicate the level of what’s going on. As you can imagine, accidents at gun powder factories can be somewhat dangerous. We were told that if so many days passed without an accident, the workers were given Swanson Hungry Man frozen dinners as a reward. Now THERE’s an employer who cares about their employees. Am I right?
Ms. Moon Who Lives In The South Where Stranger Things Are Normal
Ms. Moon:
Swanson Hungry Man?!? Wow what a great employer. I have a permanent blue scar on the bridge of my nose from connecting with the raised hatchback on my 1976 Mazda GLC. I hit it so hard, I was knocked to the ground. Years later, a dermatologist even worked twice to lessen the visibility. I did it in 1980.
I, too, was knocked to the ground once after hitting my forehead on a wooden beam underneath a beach house. It was so weird. And I hit my head on that same beam a few years later while visiting the place. Live and learn?
Not me, baby!
I bruise easily, so I’m always finding ones that I have no idea how they got there. I hope we see a 3 there tomorrow!
Kelly:
I’m just like you. I’ve actually made it to 4!!! (oops, shhhhh)
I used to get bruises without remembering running into anything. That stopped a couple of years ago. I figure my blood vessels retreated from the outer layers of skin for their own protection. This is substantiated when I got to the doctor and get to see how many finger pricks, and fingers, it takes for the tech to draw a drop of blood. Great sport that…
wickedhamster:
SG and I called those my spontaneous bruises. I was so constantly having accidents that I couldn’t keep track of what happened when. Given how much blood I’ve given lately, I’m glad my veins are always easy to tap.
Then it isn’t just me!
sillygirl
Sillygirl:
Clearly you are not alone.
Yesterday my husband tripped going up the stairs – carpeted and he was wearing jeans – and got a nasty scrape on his shin. We seem to both be unable to touch something or knock against something without some sort of wound. I now have a good ointment the Wound Clinic recommended – Dalkin’s green label – and lots of fully-enclosed bandages to service our own wounds. Last time I bought two packages!
sillygirl
sillygirl:
Yep! I try to keep every size bandage on hand. And I have a number of good wound ointments. I’ve never tried Dakin’s but have heard it’s good. Now I even have a doctor prescribed ointment to treat hematomas! SG bumps into things, too, but he rarely ends up wounded. Like you and your husband, if I bump, I will probably bleed.
Two days! Woo hoo!
It’s so funny you ask that question about legs. I remember a couple of years ago seeing an article in the Guardian headlined, “Should I wash my legs?” And I thought that was just the stupidest thing in the world for a newspaper to write about. And now here we are discussing it, which shows how much I know! Apparently this is a question people have!
My answer: No, unless you’ve been kneeling in the garden or somewhere else of dubious cleanliness. I shall say no more.
Steve:
Well, if it was too stupid for The Guardian, I suppose it’s a perfect topic for me! Oh, please say more!
My legs and arms have become noticeably drier in the past year, but I still lather shower gel all over. And thanks to your recommendation, I now use CeraVe lotion on them after drying off which has really helped! Love CeraVe lotion on my hands too, though my skin gets a little waxy if I use too much or too often.
Thinning skin is part of aging, so slight bruises will become more noticeable too.
Tundra Bunny:
SG and I used to say I “spontaneously bruised.” We were always noticing bruises that I couldn’t immediately recall producing. I would always then remember. I had more bruises back then than I do even now. Are you using CeraVe hand lotion?
Oh, we do love you, though, Mitchell!
Judy C:
And I love you, even if you can make it through the day without “adventure.”
I soap to just below the knees, and then let the drops do the rest.
Kirk:
You may do more than most!
Sorry about those injury.
Anonymous:
Thanks.
Clever woman! When we are mindful of things like this we make less accidents.
Urspo:
She was just being funny.