They Call It Mellownoma / Se Llaman Mellósanoma

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

A FEW WEEKS ago, I noticed a white patch on my right eyelid. “I’d better have that checked,” I thought. I scheduled an appointment with the dermatologist and a moment later I realized I had something minor surgically removed from there last year. It was just a scar that became more obvious as a result of my tan. So I picked up the phone to cancel my appointment, but then realized maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea anyway. I’ve got this itchy spot on one finger that I’m constantly scratching. I’m sure it’s stress (What stress? I know you ask) but maybe there’s a cream or ointment for that.

Last week I saw the dermatologist and got a prescription for an ointment for that itchy finger. While there, I said, “I’ve got this little nothing mole on my side that I never noticed before. I know it’s nothing but maybe you can look at it as long as I’m here.

So, he looked. And he looked more closely. He retrieved his loupe from a desk drawer and he looked closer still. Then he grabbed his phone and snapped pictures through the loupe.

“Well,” he said, “We need to schedule removal and biopsy. That’s a melanoma. Probably nothing to worry about.”

So, here we are. I’m home from the hospital after having my melanoma removed. Back in two weeks for the biopsy results. If it’s minor, nothing more needs to be done.

Like Roseanne Roseannadanna said, “It’s always something’.”

And, of course, since everything reminds me of a song, I’ve been singing “They Call Me Mellow Yellow” all day.


HACE UNAS POCAS semanas, noté un parche blanco en mi párpado derecho. “Será mejor que lo revise”, pensé. Hice una cita con el dermatólogo y, un momento después, me di cuenta de que me habían extraído algo quirúrgico menor el año pasado. Era solo una cicatriz que se hizo más obvia como resultado de mi bronceado.

Así que descolgué el teléfono para cancelar mi cita, pero luego me di cuenta de que tal vez no era tan mala idea. Tengo este punto que pica en un dedo y me estoy rascando constantemente. Estoy seguro de que es estrés (¿Qué estrés? De que preguntas), pero tal vez haya una crema o ungüento para eso.

La semana pasada vi al dermatólogo y obtuve una receta para una pomada para el dedo. Mientras estaba allí, dije: “Tengo este pequeño lunar de nada en mi costado que nunca antes había notado. Sé que no es nada, pero tal vez puedas verlo mientras esté aquí.

Entonces, él miró. Y miró más de cerca. Recuperó su lupa de un cajón del escritorio y miró más de cerca todavía. Luego agarró su teléfono y sacó fotos a través de la lupa.

“Bueno”, dijo, “Tenemos que programar la extracción y la biopsia. Eso es un melanoma. Probablemente no hay de qué preocuparse.

Aqui estamos. Estoy en casa desde el hospital después de que me hayan extraído el melanoma. De vuelta en dos semanas para los resultados de la biopsia. Si es menor, no se necesita hacer nada más.

Como Roseanne Roseannadanna dijo: “Siempre es algo”.

Y, por supuesto, como todo me recuerda a una canción, he estado cantando “Me Llaman Amarillo Melóso” todo el día.


Well, I’m not quite over the bends, so I’m going to park my motorcycle (that looks exactly like a car) and rest — as long as necessary.
Bueno, aún no he superado las curvas, así que creo que voy a estacionar mi motocicleta (que parece exactamente un automóvil) y descansar, mientras seas necesario.

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

34 thoughts on “They Call It Mellownoma / Se Llaman Mellósanoma”

    1. Jim:
      I don’t even know why I mentioned it. I hadn’t thought anything about it until that time. Very glad.

    1. Susan:
      Those questions are at least easy to figure out. I’ll have to share the ones that I can’t make any sense of. I’ve simply memorized the so-called correct answer.

  1. I didn’t know Melanoma was out of the country! Take care, you. If those are samples of the driving test questions, I don’t envy you one little bit! Now,back to my copy of Hustlerkitty 🙂

    1. Deedles:
      Well, I did spend the first part of my life somewhere else. I must have brought it with me. Those two questions are simply funny. There are some I can’t make any sense of. Here’s hoping I only get funny ones on my official test… or at lest non-sensical ones that I’ve already memorized.

      1. You took her with you but left her husband? How could you!!! It’s all your fault! 🙂 🙂 🙂

      2. Deedles:
        It IS all my fault but her husband was an even bigger asshat than she is.

  2. Good thing you listened to your intuition to keep that appointment! Hope it all turns out well.

    1. Debra:
      It makes me appreciate how important it is to check on these things and, yep, I am really glad I kept the appointment. Who know? Maybe the biopsy will be a surprise and it only LOOKS like melanoma!

    1. anne marie:
      Those two driving questions are simply funny but easy to figure out. There are others that leave me completely befuddled, so I memorized the clear-as-mud answers. Sure hope no one’s out there created new “translations” for my official test.

    1. Bob:
      A week from today is the true (written driving) test. Here’s hoping there are no newly translated questions.

    1. larrymuffin:
      Thanks. I’m confident it will all be fine. (Cock-eyed optimist?)

  3. Sorry to be so late, Son and I were laughing at the two cat posts. Wonderful.
    I always have to go in for eye check-ups. my left eye is kind falling apart (sewn up) so any discomfort, I am there for a check-up.
    Hope the test goes well.
    parsnip x

    1. Parsnip:
      Those cats make up for just about any bad day (as do your square dogs)!

  4. Geeeze, I’m glad you got that looked at! Please do continue to keep us posted.
    (And, for heavens! How can any English speaker pass those driving tests!? I can’t even figure out the second one. Ha!)

    1. Judy:
      Biopsy in two weeks and I’m expecting it to be good news (that nothing more needs to be done). Thanks! The two sample questions i shared are actually easier ones. There are others where the English translation is so off the wall that I have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about. I’ve simply memorized the answers they say are correct. There are also questions and answers that contradict each other — with the wrong answer being the right answer on some. Like you said, Geeze! I’ll have to find those and share them… once this is all over!

    1. Walt the Fourth:
      I hadn’t even thought of that — and now can’t get the song out of m head. My mind must have been temporarily Tiffany twisted. (I remember Don Henley once complaining on a talk show when the song was new that a fan had written to tell him they had incorrectly spelled “Mercedes Benz” on the album liner!)

  5. Oh, I hope it’s nothing serious.

    I’m curious about these driving test questions. Why IS there a picture of a car instead of a motorcycle?

    1. Kirk:
      I have no idea! Even worse, though, is Why do some of the questions have no correct answer and yet accept one of the incorrect answers?!? Mine is not to reason why(s), mine is but to memorize.

    1. Adam:
      Another question has another car picture. But it’s a compact, which is why the question is about mopeds.

  6. Nasty business but at least you acted on it. And the chances are greatly in favour of it being nothing to be worried about. Don’t envy you having the wait though, as it’ll hardly ever be far from your mind. Will be thinking of you.

    1. Raybeard:
      Trying hard not to obsess… but it’s not working so well. At least I also have the driving (written) test to stew about. SOME distraction! Thanks!

  7. Well crap – it is always something! So glad you had it checked out and removed….good to pay attention to all the body bits

    1. Cheapchick:
      Well, there are other bits I’d much rather pay attention to… but what the hell!

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