La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.
YOU MUST HAVE HEARD THE old joke.
Q: What’s a grecian urn?
A: Oh, about 2 bucks an hour.
It was one of two favorite jokes of John, my university roommate and best friend for several years. He could be quite a macho jock and had been on every one of his high school athletic teams. He was seemingly intelligent (student government president) and immediately went on for his master’s degree and then law school, passing the bar exam on his first attempt. But you be the judge after reading his other favorite joke.
John: What’s the difference between an askoff and a henway.
Mitch: What’s an askoff?
John: No! What’s the difference between an askoff and a henway?
Mitch: I heard you. What’s an askoff?
John: Dammit! You’re supposed to ask ‘What’s a henway’!
Mitch: But, first, I need to know what an askoff is! [I had already figured out what he meant, but I didn’t want to make it easy for him].
John: No. You ask what’s a henway and I say, ‘Oh, about 5 pounds.’
Mitch: But, what the hell is an askoff?!?
John: It doesn’t matter! Jeez! It’s that thing guys tie around their necks!
Mitch: You mean an ascot?
John: Forget it! Just forget it!
The Grecian urn came to mind because I picked up the cats’ ashes today. San Geraldo will keep them in his office along with the ashes of our other two cats, Dobie and Maynard. He plans for us all to be together when the time comes. I walked home from the vet’s office with a shopping bag containing the urn. I wonder if people noticed the print on the bag: Paradise Incineration
My driver’s license expires in June, SG’s in May. So we went to a specialty office at 5 today for the requisite eye test, blood pressure, and response time test (on a low-end driving simulator of sorts). The process was easy and the staff were wonderful. We thought we would then have to make an appointment with the traffic department but we did not. This medical office took care of everything, even the photo, and our new cards will be in the mail within two to three months (and we have a document to keep with us if our licenses expire before we receive them). Amazing.
Our residency permits also expire in June. I’ll request those appointments tonight (what a hassle!). At least this time we know how the process works (or don’t). Click here for the full story.
Recogí las cenizas de los gatos hoy. San Geraldo las guardará en su oficina junto con las cenizas de nuestros otros dos gatos, Dobie y Maynard. Él planea que estemos todos juntos cuando llegue el momento. Caminé a casa desde la oficina del veterinario con una bolsa de compras que contenía la urna. Me pregunto si la gente notó la impresión en la bolsa.
Mi carnet de conducir vence en junio, la de SG en mayo. Así que fuimos a una oficina especializada hoy a las 17:00 para el examen de la vista, la presión arterial, y la prueba de tiempo de reacción requeridos (en una especie de simulador de conducción de gama baja). El proceso fue fácil y el personal fue maravilloso. Pensábamos que tendríamos que pedir cita en el departamento de tráfico, pero no fue necesario. Este consultorio médico se encargó de todo, incluso de la foto, y nuestras renovaciones llegarán por correo en dos o tres meses (y tenemos un documento que guardaremos por si nuestras licencias caducan antes de recibirlas). ¡Increíble!
Nuestras tarjetas de residencia también caducan en junio. Pediré esas citas esta noche (¡qué lío!). Al menos esta vez sabemos cómo funciona el proceso (o no). Haz clic aquí para leer la historia completa.
• Crucé la calle hacia el Mercado Victoria e inmediatamente me alegré. Porque el letrero decía.
• Haz clic aquí si no recuerdasa este hombre. Le gusta hacer dar vueltas a los turistas.
Lilo came home a week ago… via USPS. Our mail lady delivered the ashes. She was in tears (the box has giant “CREMATED REMAINS” stickers on it); “My buddy is in there!!!!”. We had a good hug.
Rade:
Thinking of you. I would think many people would have a hard time with that.
Askoff. 😂 Did John and SG ever meet?
I might have told you this story before, but my niece picked up my sister’s ashes on her way to work. It didn’t feel right to leave them in the car all day, so she took them in with her and told her boss “it’s take your mother to work day”!
Kelly:
John and SG did. They never made a connection. And, although, this conversation has shades of SG (and KB), they were nothing alike. I like your niece’s sense of humor.
When my husband’s ashes came home, Handsome Son and I scattered them with those of KC his Dalmatian, along their favorite wooded walking place. I didn’t tell many people, after finding some folks are a bit shocked. They were already shocked at how informally we’d treated Handsome Partner’s death. At his wishes, in fact. Oh well. I think you and sg would understand perfectly. Boud
I must be even weirder than you all, but…. Why would people be shocked by the fate of his ashes? Sounds like the perfect resting place to me! — Dee
Boud:
I do and he would understand perfectly, and I think it’s wonderful what you did.
The joke that goes with the Grecian urn is:
“How many people work here?” “About half of them.”
Boud, but I was thinking of leaving it anonymous.
Boud:
Oh, I remember that one! What does it say about me that I love that kind of humor?
I love that you and SG and your kitties will all be together. Why not?
Really intelligent people are not necessarily blessed with a great sense of humor, are they?
Unlike us- the lucky ones who are both.
Ms. Moon
Ms. Moon:
I know! We’re twice blessed.
When my partner Garry died, I had his tub of ashes as a doorstop for months until his Dad paid for them to be interred in his late Mum’s grave.
That dapper man again! He’s a sight for sore eyes… Jx
Jon:
I love your irreverence. Did his father know you had been using them as a doorstop? Our neighbor has a familiar style, doesn’t he?
That man’ got style!
And doing your driver’s license here is an ordeal now.
XOXO
Sixpence:
We found getting our licenses in Spain to be one of the worst bureacracies.
I think it’s lovely you and all your boys will be together.
We have a pet cemetery under the pines out back where I go to talk to our kids we’ve lost here in SC.
Bob:
Do you suppose anyone would mind if I placed the cats ashes under the orange tree in front of the building.
I scattered HRH’s ashes at the centre of a labyrinth in a local park.
Debra:
That sounds perfect.
Askoff and the henway. Sounds like an Abbott and Costello castoff.
Kirk:
It was like a conversation with The Kid Brother.
Oh, gracious, what an interesting thing, to have to do blood pressure for your drivers license renewal– but, very good that they test your response ability.
I like the urn 🙂
Judy C:
Yes, I thought the blood pressure thing was odd. And mine was perfect which was surprising given that I had just done the driving simulation test and read the eye and color charts aloud while the cuff was on. There were a few questions including what I did for a living. Retired wasn’t an acceptable answer (and I remember that from the first time around). Why they’d need to know what I had a career in makes no sense to me.
It’s nice to see Jon was sighted in town again!!!!
Mistress Borghese:
I had the same thought!
I need to come up with a location for my ashes, being a doorstop is not a bad idea.
Dumb jokes make people groan (with delight) instead of laugh. My son, when he was little, was working on his humor and he would make up jokes. I would tell him, not funny. One day he told a joke he made up and I laughed, now that’s funny I told him and he was off, having figured out humor.
I’ve enjoyed all these stories of ashes. My sister’s were spread under her favorite tree in the backyard over the course of a year, so she could enjoy all the seasons. There were plenty of jokes about being careful of the weather so as not to track her in when it was wet or have to sweep her out when it was windy.
I always wanted to be cremated (and dumped in our pond), but have begun considering a natural burial since we live on a decent amount of acreage and it has a small carbon footprint. The question would be where, since I’m sure the kids will sell our land when we die. I’d love to be buried in what use to be our swimming pool, then garden, and now solar panels. We have four beloved dogs buried there already. (place me next to Alice, please) Wouldn’t that be a treat for a future owner to dig up!