Do You Tuck? / ¿Lo Ocultas?

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

I’M TALKING ABOUT clothing labels. But, first, do you remove overly large or annoying (well, they annoy ME) labels from your clothing? Do you make sure all labels that remain are carefully tucked and hidden from view? If you carry any kind of shoulder bag, do you always double-check to ensure the strap is not twisted? Belts? Are you mortified if you discover you missed a loop? If you answered “yes” to all these questions, you’re like me. And you therefore have my sympathy.

San Geraldo doesn’t care. Every morning, when we walked down the stairs, I would untwist his shoulder strap from behind. Every morning! (You’d think he would have gotten it right at least once.) But he finally had it and told me to stop doing so. I listened. After all, it was my issue, not his. However, I would quickly get alongside him so I wouldn’t have to look at the hideously twisted strap. He told me last week finally that, if it really bothers me, I can straighten his strap. It does. So I do. Thank you for understanding me, San Geraldo.

And, as for strangers: It takes all my self-control to not walk over and untwist their straps and tuck in their labels. Bras, underwear, shirts, blouses. Makes no difference. Sometimes I feel like I might explode if I don’t “fix” things. So far I’ve managed to control my urges. But it’s only a matter of time. Especially when a bathing suit has slid low on the ass and the untucked label aligns with the crack. It makes me crazy. One of these days I’m going to walk up behind them, pull up the shorts and then push in the label. Or maybe I’ll push the label in first. It depends.

.

ESTOY HABLANDO DE etiquetas de ropa. Pero, primero, ¿quitas etiquetas demasiado grandes o molestas (bueno, ME molestan) de tu ropa? ¿Se asegura de que todas las etiquetas que quedan estén cuidadosamente ocultas y ocultas a la vista? Si lleva algún tipo de bandolera, ¿siempre verifica dos veces para asegurarse de que la correa no esté torcida? Cinturones? ¿Estás mortificado si descubres que te perdiste un bucle? Si respondiste “sí” a todas las preguntas, eres como yo. Y por lo tanto, tienes mi simpatía.

A San Geraldo no le importa. Todas las mañanas, cuando bajábamos las escaleras, le quitaba la correa del hombro por detrás. ¡Cada mañana! (Uno pensaría que lo habría hecho bien al menos unas veces). Pero finalmente me dijo que dejara de hacerlo. Escuché. Después de todo, era mi problema, no el suyo. Sin embargo, rápidamente me uniría a él para no tener que mirar la correa horriblemente retorcida. Finalmente me dijo la semana pasada que, si realmente me molesta, puedo enderezar su correa. Lo hace. Así que hago. Gracias por entenderme, San Geraldo.

Y, en cuanto a los extraños: se necesita todo mi autocontrol para no caminar y desenroscar sus correas y meter sus etiquetas. Sujetadores, ropa interior, camisas, camisetas, blusas. No hace diferencia. A veces siento que podría explotar si no “arreglo” las cosas. Hasta ahora he logrado controlar mis impulsos. Pero es solo cuestión de tiempo. Especialmente cuando un traje de baño se ha deslizado hasta el fondo y la etiqueta despegada se alinea con la hucha. Eso me vuelve loco. Uno de estos días voy a caminar detrás de ellos, levantar los pantalones y luego presionar la etiqueta. O tal vez presionaré la etiqueta primero. Depende.

I’d probably pull up the shorts BEFORE I tucked the label.
Probablemente tiraría de los pantalones cortos ANTES de ocultar la etiqueta.

New Party Clothes / Nueva Ropa de Fiesta

WE WENT TO Mesón Salvador last night to celebrate all the day’s good news (see yesterday’s post). I got a new outfit just for the occasion. What do you think?

.

FUIMOS A MESÓN Salvador anoche para celebrar todas las buenas noticias del día (ver mi blog de ayer). Compré un traje nuevo especialmente para la ocasión. ¿Qué piensas?

And, no, it’s not really mine. It’s just a little number I saw Monday morning and knew I COULD live without.
Y, no, no es realmente mío. Es solo algo que vi el lunes por la mañana y supe que lo PODRÍA vivir sin.
And if that doesn’t work, I think San Geraldo and I could always match each other… and the construction tape.
Y si eso no funciona, creo que San Geraldo y yo siempre podríamos coincidir entre sí… y la cinta de construcción.
Still, nothing beats a “convertible” Fuengirola bikini. For on the beach…
Aún así, nada supera a un bikini “convertible” de Fuengirola. Para en la playa…
… and off. (With, of course, always at least a hint of ass crack.)
… y fuera. (Con, por supuesto, siempre al menos un toque de hucha.)

American Man Buns And More

It’s time for another installment of my man bun (and men’s buns) collection. I caught these during our travels around the United States in August and September.

(Click the images for enhanced buns. Go ahead, take a ‘crack’ at it.)

A MANNEQUIN AT NORDSTROM DEPARTMENT STORE, SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.
(JUDY PULLED THE JACKET DOWN AS WE PASSED. I PULLED IT BACK UP.)
CONEY ISLAND, NEW YORK; BALLARD AND DOWNTOWN SEATTLE, WASHINGTON;
 FLIGHT FROM MINNEAPOLIS TO NEW YORK; AIRTRAIN IN KENNEDY AIRPORT.
HE ROLLED OFF THE BOARDWALK AND HEADED HOME LIKE THAT!
I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE ALL LOOKING AT;
I FOUND MY VIEW MUCH MORE INTERESTING.
PLUS, MAN AND WOMAN BUNS… AND BUNS.

Crunches, Push Ups, Leg Lifts And Eye Rolls

It’s been nearly three weeks since my first eye surgery, two weeks since the second, and today I received the all-clear.

I’m especially excited because I can finally get back to physical exercise. Strolling just hasn’t cut it for me. And when I’m out and about I can never seem to stop myself from doing quick-turn double-takes at some of the sights (i.e., people) I see around town. Those quick turns were specifically forbidden.

More importantly, I can get back to doing eye rolls. And after the double-take, the eye roll is my favorite exercise.

SO MUCH TO TAKE IN …
WITH A MORNING COFFEE.

What’s Trending In Beachwear

Update On the Residency Cards:

I went through a box of miscellaneous stuff in my office and found our old passports! I have no idea why the US Embassy mailed them directly to that box. OK, I apologize for saying we never received them. Anyway, San Geraldo will make copies of our old passports and we can head back this week to complete the process. What a relief! Coming up with other documentation was turning into a major problem.

Hot Style at the Beach
I was walking on the beach the other day when I spotted someone in the distance who was exposing so much of his hind quarters that he needn’t have bothered wearing a bathing suit.

Major plumber’s crack (commonly referred to as builder’s bum in parts of Great Britain). It’s also called “hucha” in Spanish, which is the word for the slot in a piggy bank or vending machine.

Since, as you might remember, I enjoy sharing collected images of huchas (click here and here), I began snapping away. But when I zoomed in I was even more surprised by what I saw.

THE LATEST IN BEACH FASHION: THE SUIT WITH THE BUILT-IN HUCHA.

Truth be told, this is just a pocket belt to hold all the loot he finds while metal-detecting. But I’m much more entertained by my own version of reality.