Well, I’ve Never Been to… / Bueno, Nunca He Estado En…

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

LAS VEGAS HAS multiple internationally themed hotel/casinos. Among them are the Venetian (and it’s sister hotel, Palazzo), with canals and gondola rides (owned by another rightwing nutcase named Sheldon Adelson); New York New York, complete with scale models of the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the New York skyline; Luxor, glass pyramid and sphinx, an homage to ancient Egypt; Mandalay Bay, loosely relating to Mandalay, Burma; Excalibur (the tales of King Arthur); the enormous Caesars Palace complex (ancient Rome); and Paris, complete with half-scale Eiffel Tower (with the identical number of rivets, as if anyone would actually count them) and two-thirds scale Arc de Triomphe.

I worked with a woman who felt that, since she lived in Las Vegas, she had “no need to travel.” “I can see it all right here,” she told me. “And I don’t have to put up with people who don’t understand English.” Yes, she actually told me that. “Even better,” I replied, “they don’t have to put up with YOU.”


LAS VEGAS TIENE múltiples hoteles / casinos de temática internacional. Entre ellos se encuentran el Venetian (y su hotel hermano, Palazzo), con canales y paseos en góndola (propiedad de otro loco de la derecha llamado Sheldon Adelson); New York New York, con modelos a escala de la Estatua de la Libertad, el Puente de Brooklyn, y el horizonte de Nueva York; Luxor, pirámide de cristal y esfinge, un homenaje al antiguo Egipto; Mandalay Bay, vagamente relacionado con Mandalay, Birmania; Excalibur (los cuentos del rey Arturo); el enorme complejo del palacio de César (antigua Roma); y París, que se completa con el modelo del Torre Eiffel de media escala (con el mismo número de remaches, como si alguien realmente los contara) y Arco deL Triunfo a dos tercios.

Trabajé con una mujer que sentía que, dado que vivía en Las Vegas, no tenía “necesidad de viajar”. “Puedo verlo todo aquí”, me dijo. “Y no tengo que aguantar a las personas que no entienden inglés.” Sí, ella realmente me dijo eso. “Aún mejor,” contesté, “no tienen que aguantarTE”.

San Geraldo and his rowmates, London to Málaga. I didn’t see this anywhere in LasVegas.
San Geraldo y sus compañeros de fila, Londres a Málaga. No vi esto en ningún lugar de Las Vegas.

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

28 thoughts on “Well, I’ve Never Been to… / Bueno, Nunca He Estado En…”

  1. Did you really say that to her?!?! You’re my hero! I always want to say the right thing at the right time but I’m always a couple hours late!

    1. Kathleen:
      Yep, I really said it. Sometimes I actually think fast enough. I hate walking away and thinking “I should have said…” (which is what usually happens).

  2. One BIG theme park!
    They ought to have ‘passports’ for people who can say they were traveling the world!

    1. Jim:
      I worked with a woman in San Diego, a very educated woman, who told me SHE didn’t need to go to Europe because she goes “to Epcot Center very year.” Oh dear god. She at least didn’t make any derogatory comments about anyone else.

  3. People like this woman really burn my grits! You know, the kind that expect visitors here to speak English, and if they bother to visit another country, expect them to speak English also! Far be it from them to learn another language 🙁 Good for you for telling like it is. Good thing she wasn’t packing heat 🙂

    1. Deedles:
      Oh, they’re all over the place on the Costa del Sol. It drives me up a wall. As for that idiot not packing heat. She DID proudly have a shitload of guns at home. Are you surprised?

    1. Susan:
      No, I haven’t. I have heard of it. I just looked it up. HAVE to see it!

    1. anne marie:
      Sadly, that particular company was filled with people like that. It was exhausting.

  4. About 5 years ago, I met my sister at EPCOT for lunch. I can remember when the World Showcase felt like something special. Having been to most of those places, my reaction, was why come here for a poor quality imitation when the real things is out there to be seen.

    1. David:
      Funny, I just mentioned in a reply to Jim that I worked with a woman in San Diego in the ’90s (at the university… an educated woman) who told me she didn’t need to go to Europe because she goes to EPCOT every year!

    1. Mistress Maddie:
      I have so many reasons to not like Las Vegas. I think I’m done with it.

    1. Bob:
      Fortunately, that’s the kind of woman who WILL never travel. And the Vegas Eiffel Tower is so much better. At only half the size, you don’t have to climb as far.

  5. Good comeback. As for the building that’s partially underneath the Eiffel Tower, the whole thing looks vaguely pornographic.

  6. I am from Australia (ex Brit). I was in Spain last year and an American couple said to me ” You speak good English”. I replied “I speak better English than you!”

    1. Mbutterworth:
      Oh, dear god. I wish I could tell you I hadn’t heard that before. When I was working in Manhattan in the ’70s and you still had to do mail order by phone, a woman called a store in the city and wanted to have something delivered to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I’m sorry, ma’am, we only deliver to the United States.” “No, I said NEW Mexico.” “I don’t care if it’s NEW Mexico or OLD Mexico, we only deliver to the United States.”

    1. Debra:
      Yeah, he still had A LITTLE money left. And he’s feeling awfully guilty now!

  7. Overheard in Paris (the real one, you know, in France): “Jeez. The one time I come to Paris and Notre Dame is covered in scaffolding!” She shoulda (see what I did there?) gone to Vegas instead.

    1. Walt the Fourth:
      Too bad Vegas doesn’t have Notre Dame. That should(a) be their next casino.

    1. Willym:
      Well, she’d certainly get nothing out of it. But, no worries, she had no intention of ever leaving the country (god bless us everyone).

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