Would I lie to you? / ¿Te mentiría yo?

La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.

We picked up pizzas Thursday and went to Luke and Beckett’s house to have dinner with the family. Pedro and Kathleen like things spicy and had a bottle of tabasco sauce that they passed back and forth to add to their slices of pizza. At one point, Pedro looked up wincing and said he had tabasco on his finger tip and touched his eye. Kathleen gave him eye drops, but that only helped a little.

I told him to fill a shot glass with water and place it over his open eye a couple of times. He looked at me incredulously and laughed, “I’m not doing that.” I don’t know where everyone has gotten the idea that I’m a smart ass. I swore I wasn’t lying. He still didn’t believe me but he was desperate. He did it once and laughed again, insisting, “You’re making this up.” Seriously, I wasn’t. Besides, if I were going to be a smart ass, I wouldn’t do so while he was in pain. Then he said, “Oh, it feels a little better.” “Do it again,” I said. He shook his head at me, still laughing. But he did it. And, yes, it did work.

Even so, I don’t think Pedro is convinced I wasn’t making it up. Would I lie?


Recogimos pizzas el jueves y fuimos a la casa de Luke y Beckett para cenar con la familia. A Pedro y Kathleen les gustan las cosas picantes y tenían una botella de salsa tabasco que se pasaban de un lado a otro para agregar a sus rebanadas de pizza. En un momento, Pedro miró hacia arriba con una mueca de dolor y dijo que tenía tabasco en la punta del dedo y se tocó el ojo. Kathleen le dio gotas para los ojos, pero eso solo ayudó un poco.

Le dije que llenara un vaso de chupito con agua y lo colocara sobre su ojo abierto un par de veces. Me miró con incredulidad y se rió, “No voy a hacer eso”. No sé de dónde ha sacado todo el mundo la idea de que soy un listillo. Juré que no estaba mintiendo. Todavía no me creía, pero estaba desesperado. Lo hizo una vez y volvió a reírse, insistiendo: “Te lo estás inventando”. En serio, no lo estaba. Además, si fuera a ser un idiota inteligente, no lo haría mientras él sufriera. Luego dijo: “Oh, se siente un poco mejor”. “Hazlo de nuevo”, le dije. Sacudió la cabeza hacia mí, todavía riéndose. Pero lo hizo. Y, sí, funcionó.

Aun así, no creo que Pedro esté convencido de que no me lo estaba inventando. ¿Mentiría?

• After the cure.
• Después de la cura.
• At least I didn’t suggest this. City workers are out in force powerwashing the Saharan sand from all surfaces. It remains from the muddy rain back in March. But I read in the paper there’s the possibility of more calimas (wind-blown Saharan sands) this weekend. No rain.
• Al menos no sugerí esto. Los trabajadores de la ciudad están lavando a presión la arena del Sahara de todas las superficies. Queda de la lluvia lodosa allá por marzo. Pero leí en el periódico que existe la posibilidad de más calimas (arenas saharianas arrastradas por el viento) este fin de semana. No llueve.
• I didn’t go to the gym this week. It doesn’t look it, but it’s much better. Yes, I showed it to someone at the health center. For what it’s worth.
• No fui al gimnasio esta semana. No lo parece, pero es mucho mejor. Sí, se lo enseñé a alguien del centro de salud. Por lo que vale.
• San Geraldo was showing something to us all. For some reason, the enormous shoe (size 49) reminded Pedro of his grandmother’s old telephone. He tried to talk to Grandma. (SG’s leg looks strangely artifical. A trick of the camera.)
• San Geraldo nos estaba mostrando algo a todos. Por alguna razón, el enorme zapato (talla 49) le recordó a Pedro el viejo teléfono de su abuela. Trató de hablar con la abuela. (La pierna de SG se ve extrañamente artificial. Un truco de la cámara).

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

30 thoughts on “Would I lie to you? / ¿Te mentiría yo?”

  1. I learned the eye wash with a cup of water when I was a teen, it works. Way back when, most medicine cabinets had something called an “eye-cup” that was shaped to more tightly hold water around the eye. My grandmother had one left over from then trains burned coal, and the ash from the coal fire would stick to the moist tissues around your eyes.

    1. David:
      I remember those eye cups. So much neater than a shot glass. I learned about this when I was 10 and had a serious (ignored too long) sinus infection. Eye washes and snorting salt water. Blech!

  2. A few things:
    Now, after seeing your arm, my arm hurts.
    SG has the feet of a giant.
    Pedro didn’t want to hold a glass of water to his eye but will put the bottom of a shoe on his face.

    1. Bob:
      Thanks for the sympathy pains but one hurting arm is enough. SG has the hand of a giant, too. His pinky ring is big on my thumb. Excellent observation about Pedro. I’ll have to point that out to him.

  3. milk counteracts the heat too so I think you could drop some in your eye as well…works quickly

    1. melinda m way:
      I’ll bet milk would have worked even more quickly. But then Pedro would have a milky beard, shirt, and kitchen floor.

  4. Im beginning to wonder what was in all your glasses over there! Lol!!!!!! I have a little eye cup that fits the eye and cleansing. And it keeps the water in with it making a mess. I’ve no idea where I got it. It a dark blue glass.

    1. Mistress Borghese:
      Of course yours in an elegant dark blue glass. I should see what I can find for Pedro and Kathleen. Good to have in the house with the boys.

    1. Deedles:
      Well, thanks for the compliment… Father and son more likely! (I was nearly 25 when he was born.)

      1. It could happen. My half-brother is that much younger than me. Big oopsie on my father’s part. Found out by accident when the kid was five or so.

      2. Deedles:
        Of course. My mother’s oldest sister was 18 years older than her youngest sister.

    1. Sassybear:
      I learned the eye rinse when I was around 10 — due to an illness. Surprising how many people don’t know about it.

    1. mcpersonalspace54:
      Pedro’s hair and beard are a wonder. I’ve thought I’ve letting my beard go much fuller, but I can’t stand the mess it gets into before it reaches the right length for trimming and shaping… so I keep trimming and shaping too soon.

      1. mcpersonalspace54:
        I’m trying, for two whole days now, to refrain from trimming anything but the mustache until it’s busy enough to give a fun shape to it.

  5. Well, it looks like the shot glass worked, even if it WAS a bit messy. We still have that brown Saharan mud stuck to surfaces around here, too. I thought it would be long-gone by now!

    1. Steve:
      Cities here have designated special funding to power wash everything. A lot of work has been done but the mud color persists in many places. We need to take our car in for detailing. The mud is in every crevice. The carwash misses all that.

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