La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.
I have no fear of flying. What happens in the air is out of my control and I let it go. I wish I could be that way about everything in my life. I do, however, dread unpleasant passengers. While waiting to check in for my flight from Málaga to Amsterdam I was behind a group of about 12 sporty Dutch guys. Not fit and sporty, but jock heads overloaded with testosterone, smoker’s coughs, hangovers, noise, and laughter at their own jokes. I’d say their jokes were idiotic, but I don’t speak Dutch. (We can assume they were idiotic.) Many looked like their teeth had been knocked out or broken in a hockey game although, except for a couple of young uncomfortable-looking guys, it appeared their hockey days had long since passed. I worried, since I was flying KLM, that they’d be on my plane. They were nowhere in sight at the gate, but they poured noisily onto the plane and surrounded me. Most slept off their hangovers and it was fairly quiet for the first two hours of the flight except for a random walloping punch to an arm or loud slap to a head to get a buddy’s attention while he slept. They all found that very entertaining. Equally entertaining was their joy in deeply goosing each other whenever one of them passed through the aisle. Maybe they were a bunch of sweethearts (no they weren’t) but they had the kind of energy that makes me uncomfortable. Once they were mostly awake, the guy next to me pulled out his phone and played a video, loudly, of pigs squealing. They all guffawed. I peeked over and saw an orgy video on his screen. Assholes! I was happy to have a few hours in Schiphol Airport to recover before continuing to New York. The airport’s Dutch apple pie was surprisingly good.
I saw The Kid Brother Tuesday night. That’s two weeks in a row that WhatsApp video has worked. I was finally able to walk around the apartment and show him everything, including San Geraldo and the cats. He loved it and was clearly proud to see his watercolors hanging in my office. I promise you will all be invited to the next tour. Our new housekeeper will be here for the first time Wednesday morning next week. That will be a good afternoon for photos.
I went to my new, super-cool, hi-tech gym Wednesday morning. Boy did it ever feel good to pump life back into my muscles. And now that I know how it all works, I won’t be nervous about going. I had to talk myself into it the first time. I hate not knowing what I’m doing. I did have to ask questions a couple of times. Like how do I lock and open a keyless, padlock-less locker. But, I asked. I think I’m growing up.
No tengo miedo a volar. Lo que ocurre en el aire está fuera de mi control y lo dejo pasar. Ojalá pudiera ser así en todo lo que me rodea. Sin embargo, temo a los pasajeros desagradables. Mientras esperaba para facturar mi vuelo de Málaga a Ámsterdam, iba detrás de un grupo de unos doce deportistas holandeses. No estaban en forma ni eran deportistas, pero tenían la cabeza sobrecargada de testosterona, tos de fumador, resaca, ruido y risas por sus propios chistes. Yo diría que sus chistes eran idiotas, pero no hablo holandés (podemos suponer que eran idiotas). Muchos parecían haberse roto los dientes en un partido de hockey, aunque, a excepción de un par de jóvenes de aspecto incómodo, parecía que sus días de hockey habían pasado hacía mucho tiempo. Me preocupaba que, como volaba con KLM, estuvieran en mi avión. No los vi por ningún lado en la puerta de embarque, pero entraron ruidosamente en el avión y me rodearon. La mayoría durmió para quitarse la resaca y durante las dos primeras horas del vuelo hubo bastante silencio, salvo por algún que otro puñetazo en el brazo o una fuerte bofetada en la cabeza para llamar la atención de un amigo mientras dormía. Todos lo encontraron muy entretenido. Igualmente entretenido fue su alegría al darse una paliza mutuamente cada vez que uno de ellos pasaba por el pasillo. Tal vez eran un grupo de enamorados (no, no lo eran), pero tenían el tipo de energía que me incomoda. Una vez que estuvieron casi despiertos, el tipo que estaba a mi lado sacó su teléfono y reprodujo un video, a todo volumen, de cerdos chillando. Todos se rieron a carcajadas. Miré y vi un video de una orgía en su pantalla. ¡Imbéciles! Estaba feliz de tener unas horas en el aeropuerto de Schiphol para recuperarme antes de continuar hacia Nueva York. La tarta de manzana holandesa del aeropuerto estaba sorprendentemente buena.
Vi El Hermanito el martes por la noche. Son dos semanas seguidas en las que el video de WhatsApp ha funcionado. Finalmente pude caminar por el apartamento y mostrarle todo, incluido San Geraldo y los gatos. Le encantó y estaba claramente orgulloso de ver sus acuarelas colgadas en mi oficina. Prometo que todos estarán invitados al próximo recorrido. Nuestra nueva ama de llaves estará aquí por primera vez el miércoles por la mañana de la semana que viene. Esa será una buena tarde para fotos.
Fui a mi nuevo, supergenial y moderno gimnasio el miércoles por la mañana. Vaya, me sentí muy bien al devolverle la vida a mis músculos. Y ahora que sé cómo funciona todo, no estaré nervioso por ir. Tuve que convencerme a mí mismo de hacerlo la primera vez. Odio no saber lo que estoy haciendo. Tuve que hacer preguntas un par de veces. Como cómo cierro y abro un casillero sin llave ni candado. Pero pregunté. Creo que estoy creciendo.
• Quería la vaca grande, pero no cabía en mi equipaje de mano.
• Esta cerveza de jengibre era especialmente buena.
• Simplemente me gustó esta pared de cristal.
• En el vuelo a Nueva York no pedí esta ensalada porque, aunque me gusta el edamame, no entiendo el atractivo de las perlas de tapioca y no tenía idea de lo que eran el wakame y el furikake. Ahora lo sé y no creo que me haya perdido nada.
Photo #2 made me miss the Ale-Hop cow!
Debra:
We’ve got a few Ale-Hops here. I’ll visit the cows for you.
Thank you! I’m going through withdrawal.
Loudmouths on a plane will send my nerves into overdrive!!!
Bob:
These guys seemed volatile. It wasn’t relaxing.
I have gotten better at putting in the earbuds and tuning out the buds on the plane. The wildest group we ever encountered when traveling was a group of middle aged women headed from Wales to London for a “Hen Weekend.” Early in the day and they were drunk an harassing the trolley guy. I have no idea what “wakame and furikake” are and would have ordered it to find out.
David:
I closed my eyes much of the time to avoid seeing their idiocy. Not a relaxing flight. I guessed that wakame was some kind of seaweed and I was right. That would have been fine. But furikake, it turns out is, a mixture of dried fish, sesame seeds, chopped seaweed, sugar, salt, and MSG. Although it MIGHT have been more tasty than it sounds, I could live without more salt, sugar, and MSG — especially while traveling.
I hear you on that kind of male group! Spare me. It’s great that you could give your brother an apartment tour, and he could see his work, what a good brother you are, Mitchell. I love you for that. Boud.
Boud:
Those guys were an embarrassment as well as concerning. They seemed like the types who might go “off” at a moment’s notice. Thanks for the kind words!
Oh I agree that glass wall is amazing looking. I like things that are clean or repetitive. Well I don’t mind flying, it is scary all that’s been going on lately. I surely can think of better ways than going down in an airplane.
I’m with you with unusual repetitive designs. I have an odd response to flying. When I was 19, I was flying from London to Pisa. My best friend was across the aisle from me. We just happened to be on the same plane and bumped into each other at the gate. We hit a major pocket of turbulence and felt like we were dropping out of the sky. She grabbed my hand across the aisle. My only thought was the headline, “Brooklyn boy dies in crash flying London to Pisa.”
Rude/selfish people get on my nerves. You did well being surrounded by them. A certain husband of mine would not have been as tolerant.
Happy you had another good conversation with KB.
And…..I like that large cow as well!
Jim:
These guys were kind of scary. I was grateful they hadn’t had a chance to get filthy drunk again.
Okay, this post confused me … Dutch guys on your flight to Amsterdam before your flight to NY, and then you saw Chuck on Tuesday night… I had to double check the date–ha! Then, of course, I saw that it was on WhatsApp that you saw Chuck, and it all fell in place.
Sorry to hear that your dizziness is back, after successful treatment! What the heck!
Judy C:
LOL. Keep up! Got some more spray and the dizziness is gone. Will see the doc next week.
I was once on a plane with a group of Russian musicians. They were great co-passengers as they mostly slept and all appeared happy in a good way. There was not one video of an orgy that I could see. I believe that will be my new bar when judging plane flights. Was there orgy-watching on a phone? No? Good flight. Yes? Bad flight. Low bar but we live in rude and crude times.
So glad you got to visit with your brother. I know that made him happy. And good for you for going to the gym AND even asking questions. Proud of you.
That was me. Ms. Moon the forgetful. Sigh.
Ms. Forgetfulmoonsigh:
I adore you! Yeah, no orgy video on your flight? Then what are you complaining about? Went to the gym again this morning.
I know what you mean. I’ve been around groups of “laddish” young men in similar circumstances and it can feel vaguely threatening. I think it subconsciously reminds me of junior high and high school when I really WAS threatened by some of those guys.
I love that cow!
I had a “poke” (or “poké”) bowl in Florida while I was there. I didn’t really know what it was then, and I still don’t. And I ate it!
Steve:
It did feel vaguely threatening. I was grateful they hadn’t had time to top up their drunk. I’m glad I didn’t have that poké salad. Furikake is “a mixture of dried fish, sesame seeds, chopped seaweed, sugar, salt, and MSG.” Not after a long day of travel. Imagine the burps!
I’m not afraid of flying either since I use to have my pilot license, not that knowing how to fly a single engine prop plane 40 years ago would help me on a jet in distress. But like you, certain kinds of passengers make me anxious and the group you described falls in to that category.
Kelly:
I think I prefer my ignorance when I’m flying. I think a few people were anxious being stuck amid those guys.
There’s nothing worse than being trapped on a plane with over-excited noisy idiots of whatever nationality, or gender. Just imagine what it would have been like if they had been on the long-haul part of your journey across the Atlantic… Jx
PS Schiphol’s quite fancy, as airports go. Not sure in what part you spent your wait for the transfer, but in the main departures area even the clock is a bit special!
Jon:
I thought about the long haul. I definitely would have asked to change my seat. I almost did on that flight. 3-1/2 hours was plenty long. I do love Schiphol. I was in a much less interesting part of the airport while I waited for my gate to be posted but at least I got to spend a little bit of time in the main departures area.
I’m very nervous about flying with the 🍊💩 in charge of the government
Adam:
I thought about that a lot while I was traveling. I arrived during his inauguration.
Whenever I am at the gate to get on a plane, I always survey the passengers to see who I could potentially end up sitting near. Those Dutch “boys” sounded like a nightmare.
Michael:
I usually take note of the unpleasant-looking ones and hope they’re not next to me. I’m not always lucky.
I love that picture of you smiling affectionately at your brother.
Kirk:
We had very pleasant and at times funny conversation. So good.
Debra stole my comment again, dammit! Those ceramic cows are great and I would’ve wanted the larger one too… did you take photos of the other ones in the display?
Chuck looks very happy to see you and his new shaver must be working fine — looks like he has an alcove like yours for displaying his collectibles too!
I haven’t travelled on a large passenger jet since 1993 (only helicopters, small planes and a water bomber after that) and I’m not interested in flying on one now given how rude and bat-shit crazy some passengers are these days.
Tundra Bunny:
Debra can be too clever and too quick. I didn’t take photos of the rest of the cows. Sorry! Yes, Chuck’s new shaver is working well and he had a haircut molre than a week ago. What a difference. I was in my office and Chuck was in his dining area. Being on a plane can be very unpleasant with all the jerks around.
Hey, Scoot. Just my two cents worth (and we know how worthless pennies can be) . I have always been more afraid of a plane falling on top of me than crashing with me in it. Of course, if it takes out rude obnoxious people, I’m game!
Tapioca pearls are useless. They squirt through your fingers when you clutch them. Slimy little bastids!
Deedles:
I had bubble tea … once. I asked my cousin if she worried about a tapioca pearl getting stick in her throat. Nah! Ten minutes later, she choked and coughed up a tapioca pearl.
I truly cannot understand the appeal of bubble tea. I remember having tapioca pudding as part of school dinners when I was a kid – we used to call it “frogspawn”! Voluntarily choosing it as an adult? I don’t think so… Jx
Jon:
I didn’t have tapioca pudding until I was in my 30s. Now I know. I had bubble tea two years ago in NYC. I didn’t understand the point and didn’t know if I should drink or chew. Once was enough.
That is exactly why I’ve always been afraid to try bubble tea!
Good for you about the gym! I hope it sticks on you.
Urspo:
Was back again this morning and had a great workout.
That pie does look tasty!
Walt the Fourth:
I was sure I would be disappointed, but I wasn’t.
How lovely to have a good video visit with Chuck, and how awful to be trapped on a plane with such people. Years ago we were on a plane with an American sports team of some sort. I don’t know what they played, but they were quiet and well behaved. Some of them high fived my son, who was about 8 years old. I had to fly a few times after I broke my back and was wearing my big tortoise shell. The flight attendants and the people around me on the plane were so kind to me, picking up my purse under the seat if I tried to pull it out with my foot and getting my bag from the overhead compartment. My greatest fear about flying now is the possibility I’ll be on a plane with rowdy followers of the orange traitor.
Love,
Janie (still catching up on posts)
janiejunebug:
When traveling to the States, I did worry about being confronted by Maggots. That was at least a relief.