Doctor, My Eyes

San Geraldo and I had our eyes examined today. I know, I know, we should have had our heads examined, but we’re saving that for another day.

The optometrist performed San Geraldo’s exam first. Mostly in English. I could hear them laughing in the examining room.

San Geraldo came back out and said, “She told me I’m a little insane!”

I didn’t find that very surprising really, but she then explained that she had told him in her accented but beautiful English, “You are a little changed.”

He heard, “You are a little insane.”

After my exam, which was done in Spanish, we sat at the desk and went over the order. I was pleased to learn that my prescription is fine for now.

The optometrist said to San Geraldo, “I will have you fixed.”

I explained to her an alternative meaning for that phrase — i.e., what you do to cats and dogs when you don’t want them to have little cats and dogs. We laughed so much that an hour and a half had passed before we finally left the shop.

Maybe I should have taken things a bit more seriously. Do these glasses make my eyes look big?

“You must help me if you can…”