
Jerry and I went out for a quick cup of coffee this evening with Tere. She had just finished work and, before heading home, wanted a little pastry to hold her over until dinner time. The café we went to has great tapas, but only packaged pastries, so Tere got a package of Madeleines (Magdalenas) and Jerry and I split a package of two chocolate glazed donuts.
While we ate, Tere commented that normally you would only buy donuts fresh the day they are baked, but now they have these packaged ones. I commented in Spanish that all we were eating were “preservativos” and Tere burst out laughing. What could be so funny about preservatives, I thought. Tere explained that what I really meant was “conservantes.” Well, that obviously means additives. But, what could be so funny about what I said. I was simply being more specific. Tere was still laughing.
Preservativos are condoms.
Jerry y yo salimos a tomar un café rápido esta noche con Tere. Ella acababa de terminar el trabajo y, antes de regresar a casa, quería un poco de pastel para sostenerla hasta la hora de la cena. El café al que fuimos tiene excelentes tapas, pero solo pasteles empaquetados, así que Tere recibió un paquete de magdalenas y Jerry y yo dividimos un paquete de dos donas glaseadas con chocolate.
Mientras comíamos, Tere comentó que normalmente solo comprarías donas frescas el día que se hornean, pero ahora las tienen empaquetadas. Comenté en español que lo único que comíamos eran “preservativos” y Tere se echó a reír. ¿Qué pueden ser tan graciosos acerca de los preservativos?, pensé. Tere explicó que lo que realmente quise decir fue “conservantes”. Bueno, eso obviamente significa aditivos. Pero, ¿qué podría ser tan gracioso sobre lo que dije? Simplemente estaba siendo más específico. Tere seguía riendo.
Ahora, sé que los preservativos son condones.

Hello Mitch:
Well, now we know!!!
Your blog posts are rapidly becoming an essential guide for all travellers to Spain. We should certainly not wish to leave home without it!!
Oh dear.
That could stir up some interesting conversations!
J&L:
That was my goal.
So you can get them glazed in chocolate now the Mitch?
Think of the calories!! (although I guess they'd be burnt off fairly rapidly) 😉
Bob:
And it's only taken me four months to learn this.
Chris:
Well, I don't know for certain about glazed, but any flavor preference apparently… I must be living under a rock.
Don't choke on them! Take it from me, it's no fun.
m.
Mark:
The donuts? …
If Tere is ever depressed don't offer her consolation (consolador) in Spanish it is a dildo.
love your blog
saludos,
raulito
Raulito:
I love it! Thanks so much for the warning. I will tell her tomorrow when I order a cup of coffee that she doesn't have to worry about that one!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
LOVE. THIS.
Haha! Love it! And love Raulito's comment too.
Same in French. That's one you learn pretty quickly.
Josh:
Another of life's embarrassing moments.
Caitlin:
And now you know.
Judith:
I am especially grateful for Raulito's comment. That is definitely a word I would have tried to use at some point.
Walt the Fourth:
I wonder if it took you four months to learn it.
LOL. 🙂 Are they chocolate covered too?
Writer:
Chocolate "flavored," apparently. No nuts… well…
Hilarious! Mitch, you are learning the language one word at a time!
Jim:
Sadly, these are the words I remember the first time. The important words (or at least the ones I need to use on a daily basis) constantly slip my mind.
Chocolate and sex, best combination. Ever.
Nubian:
With preservativos, of course!
True Story:
Once, long before I was with my partner, I was a serial dater. On one date, I mentioned that I had a rug in my basement that I needed brought up to the first floor but it was too heavy. He offered to help me, so we went to my house for a drink after the movie. As we were sitting on the sofa with our drinks, he kept moving closer to me and I knew that soon he would move in for the kissing part. But, I REALLY wanted that rug brought up first before things got hot and heavy. So,I smiled at him sweetly and meant to say, "So, are you ready to go down to the basement?
Instead, I said, "So, are you ready to go down on me in the basement?"
Maria:
And I'm not going to ask…
Just imagine the trouble you'd get into in Spanish.