I know I’m not alone in my juvenile humor but I apologize in advance to My-Mother-The-Dowager-Duchess. I’ve been saving up and just finally couldn’t help myself.
San Geraldo, since he started dieting, has switched from pouring sugar in his coffee to using those little packets of sugar substitute. Sugar is available in large dispensers on every table at Café Manila. Sugar substitute is doled out in individual packets on request. Typical of the often-clueless San Geraldo, the first time he asked Tynan for the fake sugar, he said, “Tynan, do you have any sugar in your pants?”
|FAKE SUGAR… FROM HIS PANTS.|
After giving San Geraldo the fake sugar he wanted, Tynan pulled something old and worn from his pants. His wallet. Inside was an even older and more worn empty sugar packet. He’s been carrying it around for years I think, just because he found it funny (which is one of the reasons he’s my friend). It’s an actual brand of coffee called “India Mysore Nuggets.”
|MYSORE NUGGETS … TRAVELED ALL THE WAY FROM SOUTHWEST INDIA.|
This morning, Slushee noticed that we were fiddling with our table to get it to stop wobbling. She handed me a cardboard drinks coaster and said, “Here. Stick that under your short leg.” She and I both blushed. I reflexively replied, “None of my legs are short.” (And then I blushed more).
|HELP FOR YOUR SHORT LEG.|
San Geraldo asked for a fake sugar and Slushee reached into the pocket of her apron. I told her about how San Geraldo had asked Tynan if he had any sugar in his pants. Slushee said, “Well, mine is sweeter.” She then said, “This conversation is now at an end.”
|REAL SUGAR AT ANOTHER CAFÉ.|
|BOTTLED WATER FOR THE “LOS ANGELES (L.A.) WORKING WOMAN”?|
|SAN GERALDO THINKS THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT SHOULD BE TREATED WITH ANTIBIOTICS.|
Obviously, I won’t grow up…