Are we having fun yet, Dicky? / ¿Ya nos estamos divirtiendo, Dicky?

La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.

I received a call yesterday. One of the 2 MRIs I had 6 days ago wasn’t good enough for whatever reason. So, I had to go back this morning for my fourth MRI. San Geraldo (the saint) drove me there and waited for me — again. I think maybe my insides are just so damned irresistible that everybody wants to see them.

The first MRI was to check out my sciatica. That came back with a number of surprises that needed more investigation. The first line of the results made me swell with pride: “The vertebral bodies are visualized well aligned, of normal height and signal.” My vertebral bodies are well aligned! It was downhill from there. “Vertebral hemangiomas … facet joints with degenerative changes. Decreased signal on T2 … diffuse disc bulges ….” Something or other was at least “free bilaterally.” And then there was the “nodular lesion.” However, as far as that goes, “Syringomyelia is not associated.” Thank heavens for that! (Really, I had no clue what it was, but I looked it up — along with everything else — and I’m so glad it’s not associated.) Anyway, thanks to all that, a second MRI with contrast was requested.

When my doctor read the results of my blood work (which was screwy thanks to being in recovery for pneumonia), she wanted an MRI to check out my prostate. I should be used to it; everyone always wants to check out my prostate. I have been known to (occasionally) say “yes.”

The prostate MRI went well, although I don’t yet know the results. The second lumbar MRI needed to be done a third time. I have no idea why. That was today. I’m at moments emotionally spent, but I’m keeping myself busy.

We are about to head to breakfast at Mesón Salvador while Isabel cleans. Then I have my appointment with the dentist/orthodontist to have my teeth cleaned and the top single-wire retainer replaced. Next Friday is my appointment with the urologist (the prostate). The Friday after is my follow-up appointment with my internist (the back). Then, with a clean bill of health — or come what may — I plan to celebrate the hell out of the rest of June.

As the southern belle wife of the stuffy English brother of the equally stuffy English husband of the also stuffy Norwegian cousin of San Geraldo’s dear and unstuffy mother, Alice, used to say: “Are we having fun yet, Dicky?” (It made sense; her husband’s name was Dicky.)


Recibí una llamada ayer. Una de las 2 RMI que tuve hace 6 días no fue lo suficientemente buena por alguna razón. Así que tuve que volver esta mañana para mi cuarta resonancia magnética. San Geraldo (el santo) me llevó allí y me esperó, otra vez. Creo que tal vez mis entrañas son tan malditamente irresistibles que todos quieren verlas.

La RMI fue para revisar mi ciática. Eso volvió con una serie de sorpresas que necesitaban más investigación. La primera línea de los resultados me llenó de orgullo: “Los cuerpos vertebrales se visualizan bien alineados, de altura y señal normales”. ¡Mis cuerpos vertebrales están bien alineados! Fue cuesta abajo desde allí. “Hemangiomas vertebrales… articulaciones facetarias con cambios degenerativos. Disminución de la señal en T2… protuberancias discales difusas….” El resto de una u otra cosa estaba al menos “libre bilateralmente”. Y luego estaba la “lesión nodular”. Sin embargo, “la siringomielia no está asociada”. ¡Gracias al cielo por eso! La siringomielia es siempre lo primero que tengo en mente. (Realmente, no tenía idea de qué era, pero lo busqué, junto con todo lo demás, y estoy muy contento de que no esté asociado). De todos modos, gracias a todo eso, se solicitó una segunda resonancia magnética con contraste.

Cuando mi médica leyó los resultados de mi análisis de sangre (que fue un error debido a que me estaba recuperando de una neumonía), pidió una resonancia magnética para revisar mi próstata. Debería estar acostumbrado; todos siempre quieren revisar mi próstata. Se sabe que (generalmente) digo “no”.

El MRI de la próstata salió bien, aunque todavía no sé los resultados. El segundo MRI lumbar tuvo que hacerse una tercera vez. No tengo ni idea de porqué. Eso fue hoy. En momentos estoy emocionalmente agotado, pero me mantengo ocupado.

Estamos a punto de ir a desayunar al Mesón Salvador mientras Isabel limpia. Luego tengo mi cita con el dentista/ortodoncista para que me limpie los dientes y me reemplace el retenedor superior de un solo alambre. El próximo viernes es mi cita con el urólogo (el de próstata). El viernes siguiente es mi cita de seguimiento con mi internista (la parte de atrás). Luego, con un certificado de buena salud, o pase lo que pase, planeo celebrar el resto de junio.

Como solía decir la belleza sureña del hermano inglés estirado del marido inglés igualmente estirado de la prima noruega también estirada de la querida y no estirada madre de San Geraldo, Alice: “¿Ya nos estamos divirtiendo, Dicky?” (Tenía sentido; su esposo se llamaba Dicky).

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

30 thoughts on “Are we having fun yet, Dicky? / ¿Ya nos estamos divirtiendo, Dicky?”

  1. OMG!!!! The Kermit comic has me howling!!!!

    I get mixed on doctors after just general checkups. It seems like the more they do the more they find. I have a friend much like you that has been getting MRI’S and other tests, but I can’t remember what for. They keep finding more and more things to fix or tweak. But yet he says, he’s doesn’t get it, he feels fine. Yet the more he is getting done, he’s starting to feel worst. I said you need to get a second opinion. Which is why I have a problem trusting doctors to a point. Others I know went in for small minor surgeries and then end even worst then before. I don’t get it. Sometimes I think the cheese in Denmark is stinking.

    1. Mistress Borghese:
      That sounds like an expression SG would use. The cheese in Denmark is stinking. I’d laugh and he’d ask “What’s it supposed to be?” Yeah, I do sometimes think ignorance is bliss. I did however, push for years to get answers on my sciatica. Now that I’m getting answers, I’m sorry I asked. As for the prostate. Everyone knows I’m a perfect asshole.

      1. ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really need to get my opera glasses. I read that as-” Everyone knows I have a perfect asshole.”

        And I swear, I haven’t been talking to San Geraldo.

      2. Mistress Borghese:
        I’m pleased you’re so skilled at reading between the lines — or the cheeks in this case.

    1. mcpersonalspace54:
      I’ve never met a urologist… except when I worked at SUNY Downstate Medical Center in the late ´70s and that was at a holiday party. The head of urology was named Dr. Waterhouse.

      1. mcpersonalspace54:
        Absolutely. There was also a Dr. Doctor and a Nurse Nurse on staff at the time.

  2. It seems the leading adjective in most of my MRIs/X-rays is the word degenerative. Guess I should be happy that they don’t call me a degenerate. Good luck with your latest test.

    1. Mary:
      Thanks, dear Mary. I guess I should be grateful I’ve never been called a degenerate either (to my face).

    1. Debra:
      Thanks. I keep waiting for the phone to ring to schedule another MRI.

  3. Hang in there, mister! All this medical jargon can make the best of us a tad shaky at times. All will be well.

    1. Jim:
      And we receive all the medical jargon in Spanish. Ooh, that sounds like good news. Oops!

  4. That’s a lot of tests and appointments! I feel for you. Yes, I’d say some major celebrating is in order for the rest of the month (summer).

  5. I’m glad all the tests are (I think?) finished. (As I gleaned from your subsequent posts.) I also am glad, on your behalf, that Syringomyelia is not associated. I have no idea what it is either.

    1. Steve:
      I HOPE the tests are finished. Syringomyelia didn’t sound like something I’d want to be associated [with]. When I read about it, I was certain.

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