Not Enough Fumes / Pocos Humos

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

During a dip in my “happiness” when we lived in Santa Barbara at the beginning of this century, I had suicidal thoughts. We lived in a pink townhouse. Life should have been rosey.

Usually, when I’m that low, I’m simply “passively suicidal.” I go to bed at night hoping I won’t wake up in the morning. Passive. But this time, I developed a plan. I was going to go downstairs, head out the back door, which led directly into the garage, and get in the car. I would start the engine. Carbon monoxide poisoning.

As I started down the stairs, I remembered that we had a Prius. A hybrid. Few fumes to begin with and, if the car were idle, it would simply switch to electric. I’m sure I wouldn’t have gone through with it anyway, but I’m very grateful for hybrid technology. And, yes, I did see the humor, even at the time.

A couple of years ago, we bought another Prius. It doesn’t really matter though; we don’t have a garage.

Durante un chapuzón en mi “felicidad” cuando vivíamos en Santa Bárbara a principios de este siglo, tuve pensamientos suicidas. Vivíamos en una casa rosa. La vida debería que haber sido “rosa.”

Por lo general, cuando estoy tan bajo, simplemente soy “pasivamente suicida”. Me acostaba por la noche esperando no despertarme por la mañana. Pasivo. Pero esta vez, desarrollé un plan. Iba a bajar las escaleras, salía por la puerta trasera que conducía directamente al garaje, y me subía al coche. Yo arrancaría el motor. Envenenamiento por monóxido de carbono.

Cuando empecé a bajar las escaleras, recordé que teníamos un Prius. Un híbrido. Para empezar, pocos vapores y, si el coche estuviera inactivo, simplemente cambiaría a eléctrico. Estoy seguro de que no lo habría superado de todos modos, pero estoy muy agradecido por la tecnología híbrida. Y, sí, vi el humor, incluso en ese momento.

Hace un par de años, compramos otro Prius. Aunque en realidad no importa; no tenemos garaje

Route Recalculation

We’ve both been around the block a few times (well, San Geraldo, a lot more than a few), just not in Southern Spain.

Today we drove to Marbella, about 25 minutes west, to buy some things at the department store El Corte Inglés. Our local store didn’t have what we needed and the web page said Marbella did. Marbella did not. What they meant when they said Marbella was Puerto Banus (10 minutes further west).

As we got out of the car in the garage in Puerto Banus, San Geraldo asked if I could remember where we parked. I said, “Absolutamente, S1, numero 91.”

We went across the street for lunch and then returned to shop. Finally, we headed for the car.

We went from Level 2 of the store to the Ground Floor. We couldn’t find the elevator we had taken earlier. So we took the escalator down one floor but when we entered the garage it appeared to be a different one. We went down another floor and then back up three.

San Geraldo said, “I thought you said you absolutely knew where we parked.”

I said, “I do! Level S1, spot number 91! I never said I could find the parking garage. We were still in the garage when you asked me!”

Finally, I asked for help. We got to the garage and I found our car. (“I told you I knew where it was!”) 

We then followed signs for the exit. It took us only three times around Level S1 to finally escape.

Our new car’s navigation system is excellent and, when we listen to it, it’s a tremendous help. Too bad we couldn’t use it in El Corte Inglés.

On the Road Again

WE PASSED THIS SALVADOR DALI RHINO 4 TIMES.
NEAR EL CORTE INGLÉS PUERTO BANUS.
PHOTO, MANUEL GONZÁLEZ OLAECHEA Y FRANCO.

Leaving the garage, I set the navigation screen for Home.

“Take the third exit from the roundabout,” she said.

San Geraldo took the fourth exit. “Oops, I think I just missed…”

“Route recalculation,” she interrupted.

We found our road, but went in the wrong direction.

“Route recalculation,” she said.

She said “Route recalculation” once more before we finally got on the correct road in the correct direction (having to back out of a car wash along the way).

This was an improvement over our drive to Málaga Friday night. Finding the parking garage took us four “route recalculations.”

And then the parking garage was full!

 



(Don’t tell San Geraldo, but If I had looked around the corner when I took the first garage entrance, I would have seen our car!)