I can be your long lost pal / Puedo ser tu amigo que perdiste

La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.

Cousin Al and I lounged at the beach for a couple of hours Tuesday, had lunch at home on the terrace with San Geraldo, and then went to Plaza Mayor and McArthur Glen, so Al could buy some underwear. He didn’t find any. We both bought cheap sunglasses at C&A.

I wanted Al to see the ridiculousness that is Phillip Plein (click here). Al didn’t think it was ridiculous and ran inside. He asked, “If I slip on that dress, would you take my picture?” I was stunned and said, “If you slip on that €5,000 euro dress in the middle of this shop, I will pretend I don’t know you and walk out.” So, instead, he held it in front of himself for a photo. Then there was a bathing suit. He did slip that over his head and, although he looks totally wasted in that photo, he was not. At that point, it was obvious we were getting the side eye from the salespeople.

Al has recently joined the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and is trying to develop his persona. I think he’s currently a postulant. The Sisters devote themselves “to community service, ministry and outreach to those on the edges, and to promoting human rights, respect for diversity and spiritual enlightenment.” Thankfully, he didn’t buy the sweet pink, flame-shaped sunglasses that were only €208. He thought the sweet pink might be good for his persona but he didn’t know about the flames. Anyway, we’ve both read a bit about Phillip Plein and he sounds like a serious asshole.

I for one will never again set foot in that store. The photo above is of the cousins with Plaza Mayor’s giant metal bull’s private parts dangling over Al’s head.


El primo Al y yo descansamos en la playa durante un par de horas el martes, almorzamos en la terraza de la casa con San Geraldo y luego fuimos a la Plaza Mayor para que Al pudiera comprar ropa interior. No encontró ninguno. Ambos compramos anteojos de sol baratos en C&A.

Pero quería que Al viera la ridiculez que es Phillip Plein (haga clic aquí). Al no pensó que fuera ridículo y corrió adentro. Él preguntó: “Si me pongo ese vestido, ¿me tomarías una foto?”. Me quedé atónito y dije: “Si te pones ese vestido de 5000 euros en medio de esta tienda, fingiré que no te conozco y me iré”. Entonces, en cambio, lo sostuvo frente a él para una foto. Luego había un traje de baño. Se lo pasó por la cabeza y, aunque parece totalmente perdido en esa foto, no lo estaba. En ese momento, era obvio que los vendedores nos estaban mirando de reojo.

Al se unió recientemente a las Hermanas de la Indulgencia Perpetua y está tratando de desarrollar su personalidad. Creo que actualmente es un postulante. Las Hermanas se dedican “al servicio comunitario, el ministerio y el alcance a los marginados, y a la promoción de los derechos humanos, el respeto por la diversidad y la iluminación espiritual”. Afortunadamente, no compró las gafas de sol de color rosa dulce con forma de llama que solo costaban 208 €. Pensó que el rosa dulce podría ser bueno para su personalidad, pero no sabía nada de las llamas. De todos modos, ambos hemos leído un poco sobre Phillip Plein y suena como un imbécil serio.

Por mi parte, nunca más volveré a poner un pie en esa tienda. La foto de arriba es de los primos con las partes privadas del toro de metal gigante colgando sobre la cabeza de Al.

• Al was already inside selecting shoes, while I was still looking at the window display and the €210 T-shirt.
• Al ya estaba dentro seleccionando zapatos, mientras yo seguía mirando el escaparate y la camiseta de 210€.
• Sneakers for less than €4,000.
• Zapatillas por menos de 4.000€.
• With Carl Lagerfeld, who I’m sure was repolished the moment we left.
• Con Karl Lagerfeld, a quien estoy seguro se le volvió a pulir en el momento en que nos fuimos.


Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

34 thoughts on “I can be your long lost pal / Puedo ser tu amigo que perdiste”

      1. Deedles:
        Debra is my hero, too, but it has nothing to do with her cheap taste!

  1. Al’s nails match the dress! He totally should have put it on. I’d have loved THAT picture.

    As for the side-eyeing salespeople, they just have to realize that if they’re going to sell such weird and overpriced clothing, people will make fun of it.

    The sparkly sneakers are kind of cool but not on my feet — and certainly not at that price.

    1. Steve:
      We would have been kicked out of the store. I don’t think Al would have occured. And, after what we read about Phillip Plein, I wouldn’t care anymore either. I must admit I loved those high-tops!

  2. Al is adorable! I must say, glitter is definitely his “color”. Y’all look like you’re having a blast!

    1. Deedles:
      He will love that statement “glitter is definitely his color”!

  3. Happy you both are having a good time!
    Yes….a photo of Al in that dress would have been SPECIAL!!

    1. Jim:
      I don’t think Al will ever forgive me. He’s got some friends who would have helped him into it.

    1. Sassybear:
      I’m grateful he doesn’t judge me for not being as daring (and irreverent) but you SHOULD have been here.

  4. That frock would have been fab if it didn’t have the “Plein” logo splashed all over it – All should have tried it on, dear, and the “skull stillies”, just to piss off the staff who work there… Jx

    1. Jon:
      Ridiculous. Spending thousands of dollars on a dress that reads PLEIN(TM). He loved those skull stilletos, but wanted a left foot in one color and right in the other, which would have meant buying two pairs.

  5. Wow, perfect teeth and brilliant smiles sure run in your family! Unfortunately, my ancestors graced the pages of the “Big Book of British Teeth”, LOL!

    1. Tundra Bunny:
      I must admit not all Americans have perfect teeth, although British people like to say so, but some of us are a bit obsessed with them. The brilliant smiles come from being together.

    1. Roentare:
      His smile is definitely genuine. A joy to be with. I’m very lucky.

    1. Mcpersonalspace54:
      Yes, I’m trying let the bird go more hipster. But I can’t stand the mess, so keep trimming it too soon.

  6. That’s some crazy stuff in that store, especially at those prices. I like the first picture. I’ve had balls dangling over my head from time to time.


    1. janiejunebug:
      Al was very impressed that the bull was anatomically correct… sort of.

    1. Kirk:
      And a huge waste of money. The name and TM covering the front ruins any sense of style.

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