La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.
SAN GERALDO COOKED A TURKEY dinner for New Year’s Eve. For two American expats who grew up on 26-pound (12-kilo) turkeys, we had no idea turkeys even came in 8-pound (3.6-kilo) versions. This is the second one we’ve had in two weeks and it’s so much less work (for the cook) and so much less clean-up. Plus, both times, we said we’d never had a more perfectly moist and delicious bird.
We watched television idiocy from Madrid just so we could eat our good luck grapes and drink our cava along with others. One of the hosts is a hot mess. Her name is Cristina Pedroche , an “actress, presenter, comedian, TV reporter and model,” who cares more about her bizarre outfits than helping the country ring in the new year. This time, she was so busy getting ready to remove her outer layer (which looked like one of San Geraldo’s duvets) that she almost missed midnight. There was nothing about the tradition of the grapes, nothing about the fireworks or saying good-bye to a hellish year for so many people and possibly ringing in some hope.
This is what the national newspaper El Pais said about her behavior at midnight:
“The time has come, the time has come”, she shouted overwhelmed, desperate, while she took off the duvet from her body…”
While the clock still chimed, Pedroche explained how the crystals were all individually attached to the micro skirt and bib. By hand! There were so many complaints about her self-absorption this year that maybe she won’t be asked back next year. If she is, I’ll tune to a different station. But, for one last time, I’ve given her the attention she craves.
Despite Pedroche, San Geraldo and I each successfully downed our 12 grapes, one per clock chime. We then toasted with cava (which is Spain’s version of champagne). San Geraldo took one sip of his and I had the rest. I was tipsy.
When I washed the dishes I held a sponge in my right hand and squirted dish soap into my empty left hand. Twice! Of the three little bottles of cava San Geraldo brought home, we have two left. We’re covered through 2023.
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SAN GERALDO COCINÓ UNA CENA de pavo para Nochevieja. Para dos expatriados estadounidenses que crecieron con pavos de 12 kilos (26 libras), no teníamos idea de que los pavos venían en versiones de 3,6 kilos (8 libras). Este es el segundo que hemos tenido en dos semanas y es mucho menos trabajo (para el cocinero) y mucho menos limpieza. Además, en ambas ocasiones dijimos que nunca habíamos tenido un pavo más perfectamente húmedo y delicioso.
Vimos idioteces televisivos desde Madrid solo para poder comernos nuestras uvas de la suerte y beber nuestro cava junto a otros. Una de los anfitriones es un desastre. Su nombre es Cristina Pedroche, una “actriz, presentadora, comediante, reportera de televisión, y modelo”, que se preocupa más por sus extraños atuendos que por ayudar al país a recibir el año nuevo. Esta vez, estaba tan ocupada preparándose para quitarse la capa exterior (que parecía uno de los edredones de San Geraldo) que casi se pierde la medianoche. No había nada sobre la tradición de las uvas, nada sobre los fuegos artificiales o decir adiós a un año infernal para tanta gente y posiblemente sonar con alguna esperanza.
Esto es lo que dijo el diario nacional El País sobre su comportamiento a medianoche:
“Ha llegado el momento, ha llegado el momento”, gritaba abrumada, desesperada, mientras se quitaba el edredón de su cuerpo …”
Mientras el reloj seguía sonando, Pedroche explicó cómo los cristales se unieron individualmente a la micro falda y al pechera. ¡Manualmente! Hubo tantas quejas sobre su ensimismamiento este año que tal vez no le pregunten el próximo año. Si es así, sintonizaré una emisora diferente. Pero, por última vez, le he prestado la atención que anhela.
De todos modos, San Geraldo y yo comimos con éxito nuestras 12 uvas, una por campana de reloj. Luego brindamos con cava (que es la versión española del champagne). San Geraldo tomó un sorbo del suyo y yo tomé el resto. Entonces estaba borracho. Qué par de pesos ligeros.
Cuando lavé los platos, sostuve una esponja en mi mano derecha y eché jabón para platos en mi mano izquierda vacía. ¡Dos veces! De las tres botellitas de cava que San Geraldo trajo a casa, nos quedan dos. Estamos cubiertos hasta 2023.
El coanfitrión es Alberto Chicote, cocinero, chef, y restaurador.
Heidi Klum habría dicho Auf wiedersehen.
Fotos tomadas de El País, quien dijo: el “‘show’ del vestido de Pedroche por poco deja a sus telespectadores sin anunciar las 12 uvas.”
OH MY! Looks like something from the Carol Burnett Show!!
That little turkey looks good! Yummy.
Happy New Year guys!
Jim:
The Carol Burnett Show! Yes!!! “Oh, I just saw it in the windah and I had to have it.”
Happy New Year! The turkey looks wonderful, I struggle to find anything under 10 pounds here.
Omg, what an outfit.
What a nice pic of you two ❤️
Parsnip:
Thanks. Yeah, that outfit. Every year, she does something ridiculous. It gets a lot of attention, but I think she took her narcissism a bit too far this time.
David:
Jerry ordered an 18-pound turkey several years ago and have everyone in the supermarket talking about it.
Wonderful food and Cava!!! with the famous grapes, I tried one year in Madrid to do it and realize you have to eat them quickly to make it to 12. Next year watch the King’s message from Madrid more ponderous and no antics. LOL!! You two have a great 2021!
larrymuffin:
No king’s message for me. I’ll watch another station. Our first year with the grapes, we had no clue. SG bought grapes with seeds. I swallowed them seeds and all. He was spitting the entire time. The next year, the grapes were so huge it was like eating 12 plums… without the pits.
Gawd, that turkey looks good. I haven’t had even one turkey dinner this year. We had pizza on New Year’s Eve. Here’s to a wonderful 2021!
Debra:
Pizza sounds really good!
The new year starts today. The Happy New year comes January 20. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Jssw:
Yes!!!
OMG, what an ugly whore! and where’s the rest of that hideous “outfit” that no self-respecting woman would EVER wear! so she’s got tits; BFD, so do I!
your meal looks festive. we just snacked all day yesterday. I made a hot crab & bacon dip for the first time; YUM! today is pork & sauerkraut (german) with plum pudding & brandy butter (british) to honor our ancestors.
on tuesday, I am mailing chuck a card with a fish on it. the caption is “you kick bass!”.
HNY to you and jerry and the cute furkids!
anne marie:
It gets her attention and it seems that’s all she cares about. I think one year there was a thong involved. Plum pudding and brandy butter! I’m sure a lot of expats in town were doing that. So good.
Jim is right about the outfit, but instead of Carol Burnett’s “I saw it hanging in the window,” it was more like this clown pulled it off an unmade king size bed. A lot less funny, too. And what’s with the tinsel on the tush? Gawd. Two narcissists too many in 2020.
On a happier note, the photo of you two is terrific. May 2021 be good to both of you.
Mary:
Definitely two narcissists too many. Thanks re the photo. I wasn’t thrilled. We both look so tired, but I really wanted one to commemorate the year.
Great photo of the two of you – just look at those sassy eyes! 2021 may get off to s low start, but it is bound to be a better one. We didn’t even try to stay up, party poopers that we are. HNY!
Wilma:
Yeah, the “sassy eyes” above the bags and dark circles. I hadn’t been sleeping. Made up for it the last two nights! We have no trouble staying since arriving in Spain. When we lived in the states, we would drag out dinner with friends so that we were having dessert at 11:50. By 12:05, we all said goodnight and went to bed!
Indeed the last photo is the best. I wish I had a copy to frame to put up with my nearest and dearest.
Urspo:
Thanks regarding the photo. I wasn’t thrilled, especially with myself — bags and dark circles under my eyes. But that’s how it was this year!
Again Blogger ate my comment.
I was saying the last photo is marvelous; I wish I had it framed on my shelf.
Urspo:
I’m not on blogger. I’m on WordPress, like you. I think sometimes, the posting of the comment just gets slightly delayed. It could drive a person crazy!
French turkeys (and I imagine most turkeys in Europe) have always struck me as tastier than their American cousins. And they come in civilized sizes. My only complaint is that whole birds are only available at the holidays. But we can get parts (parts is parts) all year long.
Walt the Fourth:
I’m glad you agree. That’s been our experience. Yep, parts is parts. Wendy’s in the idiot Dave Thomas years. At least they had good commercials.
Ye Gods! What is that woman wearing? Perhaps you could get San Geraldo one to wear to keep him warm?
Love the photo of you 2.
The turkey looks delicious. We had a turkey crown..not my choice…and it was dry and tasteless. (Sadly there are still many packets of it in the freezer)
Frances:
San Geraldo had the same exact outfit open on his lap that night. And he didn’t have to thank four designers for its creation!
That woman is wretched, but we didn’t have much better watching Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen camp it up and get snockered on live TV. The CNN show has gone way downhill since they forced Kathy Griffin out.
wickedhamster:
I love Anderson Cooper. Andy Cohen… eh. I didn’t get what was so funny about his conversation with Snoopdog and where he has gotten high!
That is a ridiculous dress. Sometimes presenters can make a career out of being a hot mess, but it sounds like she may have overstepped this time! Happy New Year to both you and SG! Glad you got your grapes. 🙂
Steve:
I think she’ll take the attention however she can get it. I’ve always found her ridiculous, but this year was truly offensive.
And they were delicious grapes at that!
I guess I have to express some ambivalence toward this young woman. New Year’s Eve celebrations are not known for classy behavior. In fact, excess is basically what they’re all about. On the other hand, 2021 was a horrible year, and that has to be taken into consideration. How ’bout I criticize her for not wearing a mask?
Kirk:
I honestly don’t care if she wears wild get-ups and enjoys exposing herself. That’s her business and if it gets her the fame she desires, more power to her. I don’t find much to admire about her, however. But this year was truly offensive. I actually yelled at her, with my mouth full of grapes, when she was exposing the “underbelly of her outfit,” “We’re missing the chimes!”