La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.
I was up and out of the house bright and early this morning for a 15-minute walk to the public health center to have blood drawn. I also had to provide a urine specimen. I HATE that part. I’m always so embarrassed to be seen heading to the toilet with the cup only to exit the toilet shortly thereafter carrying my fresh, warm urine back through the halls.
The public health center, however, gives me the cup when I make the appointment and then I have to take the specimen with me when I return. The first time, I was appalled. I couldn’t believe I had to carry the cup of urine through the streets of Fuengirola. I would of course seal it tightly in an opaque bag and pray it wouldn’t leak. I wondered what I was supposed to do with the test tube they provided. Pee in that as well?!? How? But then I read the instructions.
After peeing in the cup — no problem — I invert the test tube and shove it in the hole (at the top of the cup). This creates a suction that draws the sample into the test tube until it’s full. Will wonders never cease? This year, however, I have two test tubes. One with boric acid in it for testing for the presence of bacteria. Once that test tube was full, I had to slowly flip the tube over and back again. Five times. It was like cooking.
I flushed the remaining urine. Maybe I should wash the cup, and use it for apple juice or something. Or maybe fill it with chocolate chips for a little snack in the afternoon. It’s an attractive little cup.
I’m now having breakfast and had planned to go to the gym. The apple juice is delicious. At least I think it’s apple juice.
The Frozen Peas
I also have an appointment with the diabetes nurse. I confused the dates of the two appointments. I see her this afternoon. I was supposed to have the lab work done next week. That part wasn’t a problem for the lab. Here’s the problem: The person drawing the blood was talking to her colleagues a bit too much. The needle going in was fine. All went well with the second vial, too. However, she wasn’t looking while removing the needle and it hurt. I didn’t think much of it until I was halfway home and looked down at my arm. Apparently, a hematoma caused by blood leaking into the surrounding tissue. So, I’m sitting at the computer with a bag of frozen peas on my arm. I’m not going to the gym. And, if it gets any worse, I’ll be headed to Urgent Care. It’s amazing how quickly a day can go down the tubes.
Nutrition and Fitness Report
Stretching: Once a day.
Walking:7 km / 4 miles Sunday.
Gym: Not today. Maybe tomorrow.
Me levanté y salí de la casa muy temprano esta mañana para caminar 15 minutos hasta el centro de salud pública para que me sacaran sangre (análisis). También tuve que proporcionar una muestra de orina. ODIO esa parte. Siempre me da tanta vergüenza que me vean dirigiéndome al baño con la taza y saliendo del baño poco después llevando mi orina fresca y tibia de vuelta por los pasillos.
El centro de salud pública, sin embargo, me da la taza cuando hago la cita y luego tengo que llevarme la muestra cuando regrese. La primera vez, me horroricé. No podía creer que tenía que llevar la copa de orina por las calles de Fuengirola. Por supuesto, lo sellaría herméticamente en una bolsa opaca y rezaría para que no se filtrara. Me pregunté qué se suponía que debía hacer con el tubo de ensayo que me proporcionaron. Orinar en eso también?!? ¿Cómo? Pero luego leí las instrucciones.
Después de orinar en la taza, no hay problema, invierto el tubo de ensayo y lo meto en el orificio (en la parte superior de la taza). Esto crea una succión que atrae la muestra hacia el tubo de ensayo hasta que se llena. ¿Nunca cesarán las maravillas? Este año, sin embargo, tengo dos tubos de ensayo. Uno con ácido bórico para probar la presencia de bacterias. Una vez que el tubo de ensayo esté lleno, debo voltearlo lentamente una y otra vez. Cinco veces. Suena como cocinar.
Puedo tirar la orina restante, lavar la taza y usarla para zumo de manzana o algo así. O tal vez llénelo con chispas de chocolate para un pequeño refrigerio por la tarde. Es una pequeña taza atractiva.
Ahora estoy desayunando y tenía planeado ir al gimnasio. El jugo de manzana es delicioso. Al menos creo que es jugo de manzana.
Los Guisantes Congelados
También tengo una cita con la enfermera de diabetes. Confundí las fechas de las dos citas. La veo esta tarde. Se suponía que tenía que hacer el trabajo de laboratorio la próxima semana. Esa parte no fue un problema para el laboratorio. Aquí está el problema: La persona que extraía la sangre hablaba demasiado con sus colegas. La aguja que entró estaba bien. Todo salió bien con el segundo vial también. Sin embargo, ella no miraba mientras retiraba la aguja y le dolía. No pensé mucho en eso hasta que estaba a medio camino de casa y me miré el brazo. Aparentemente, un hematoma causado por la fuga de sangre al tejido circundante. Entonces, estoy sentado frente a la computadora con una bolsa de guisantes congelados en el brazo. No voy al gimnasio. Y, si empeora, me dirigiré a Atención de Urgencias. Es increíble lo rápido que un día puede ir por los tubos.
Informe de Nutrición y Estado Físico
Estiramiento: Una vez al día.
Caminando: 7 km / 4 millas domingo.
Gimnasio: En cmaino para pecho, espalda, y piernas.
36 thoughts on “Tubes, frozen peas, pee / Tubos, orina, guisantes congelados”
Ouch. I had that happen to me once, when I banged my wrist while putting out the bins on my way to work. I imagine people were quite bemused to see me walking down the street with my hands above my head, as I applied pressure on the wrist to drain the blood back into my arm!
Apple Juice. Urine. Hmmmm – I know which one I’d prefer to drink 🙂 Jx
Your last comment has me wondering. Which?
Easier that they let you collect the sample at home. The arm looks – I don’t know – I am not that kind of a doctor. Scarey. There is an old joke about a guy in the hospital, a urine sample, apple juice, the punchline is let me run this through again, I bet you have heard that one.
Yep, comedian Alan King actually said he did that when he was in the hospital and got tired of his syrupy sweet nurse.
Need to put my eye drops in – it was confusing to read frozen pee.
And that was the idea!
All those high-tech collection tubes, yet all depends on the skill (or lack thereof) of a human technician.
And everything had been going so well.
We are so much alike.
Today, I will be hand delivering urine to the vet’s office.
Not mine, mind you, but MaxGoldberg’s. And it was much easier to get into the wee [wee-wee] test tube.
HOW do you get a cat to pee in a cup?
Tongs and elbow length rubber gloves.
Oh, I get it. You hold their units with the tongs.
Yikes! That looks painful. Hope it has settled down by now. Healthcare people ought to stay focused on the subject at hand……..complacency personified.
Much better and able to move it more as the morning progresses. The tech started off so well. I didn’t feel the needle go in. Felt nothing when she switched tubes. And then that!
At Canadian labs, we pee in the little labeled jar in the lab bathroom and put it in a tiny receptacle in the wall behind a little door. The lab technician then opens a little door on her side of the wall to take it out. All very discreet, like an illegal speakeasy entry system. It never fails to amuse me. I would have no trouble carrying my urine sample cup through the halls on a silver tray held above my head like a waiter in a ritzy restaurant. It’s only pee, fer gawds sake!
I’ve had a couple of medical centers that had that system. Very Canadian of them. I loved it. SG has no trouble either. I can be a prig.
The only time I have penis envy: the ability to pee in an itty-bitty cup and peeing outside. I’m thinking about bringing a funnel for my lab work next month! Those cups are not designed for women, period, let alone pleasingly plump cutely chubby arthritic women.
Another ouchie. That looks very painful. I hope your arm feels better soon, Scoot. Sending you a cyber kiss for the boo-boo.
Thanks. The cyber kiss did the trick. It’s getting better. Another thing you can’t do is pee your name in the snow!
Sure, sure, rub it in, Scoot! That must be so much fun!
I’ve never rubbed it in. Just drank a lot of beer. Peed my name and walked away.
Oh, my heavens! I hope that hematoma is already history. That’s terrible!
I’m also so surprised to hear about this whole at-home urine sample and transfer to vials system. Wow.
I do love how this all works… except the human part. She was great until she stopped concentrating on her work. Arm is barely swollen. Bruising is showing. But I’m able to move it more than when I first woke up. It will be fine. Thanks!
I remember working in a clinic with a similar set up; they provided discreet cover bags to avoid embarrassment
Discreet cover bags. I love it. But everyone would know what you had in the bag.
Holy shit, Mitchell! That looks very uncomfortable. I think I would go to urgent care.
It improved quickly yesterday. Now it’s just sore and the bruising is appearing. I’ll be fine.
IMHO you should let the lab know what happened. Totally unacceptable!!!
Send them the picture with the story.
Will report it. It’s a shame. She was doing so well until the very end. First time I’ve ever had an issue there.
The Canadian lab I go to provides personalized labeled urine sample cups and clear ziploc baggies for transport from home back to the lab. The baggies are marked “BIOHAZARD” in bright yellow and red, which reminds me of radioactivity warnings. They work great to keep people at a distance — I might wear one like a necklace if we get another Covid-19 wave.
Yeah, that would really help me not attract attention!
You just make me laugh! And I needed that today, after such a zany few weeks. Thank you. (And keep up those peeing escapades. P.S. It’s even hard to do it tidily when you’re a girl.)
This is one time I’m especially grateful to have the parts I have. So much easier to pee in a cup. And, I can write my name (in pee) in the snow.
I’ve provided more samples than Costco and BJs combined. There are worse things than urine, my friend. (But I agree…it’s awful to have to do.) That blood bump looks terrifying and painful. Idiot blood tech!
Arm is so much better this afternoon. Yeah, disappointed in the tech. But she started off so well. You’re a much better man than I, although I’m sure I’d adjust if I had to. Hell, some years ago, I wouldn’t even have TALKED about urine samples.
Oh my gosh! That’s a pretty big swelling. A careless phlebotomist is never a good thing! I wouldn’t reuse the urine cup (LOL) but surely the frozen peas can still be eaten.
I cycled through the bags of frozen peas so they didn’t thaw out. New ones came from the middle drawer of the freezer. Used ones went in the bottom. SG’s idea. Arm is doing better all the time. Gym Friday, no problem… I think.