Friends without benefits / Amigos sin beneficios

La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.

I had plans to post late yesterday after my day in Málaga with Lulu. But I received a text message from the granddaughter of my once-in-a-lifetime friend, Susan (click here), that Susan had been taken to the hospital and they had to perform CPR. A little later, she wrote again to tell me Susan had died. Susan was what I consider young, my age. But she had a myriad of health problems for years and she finally lost the battle. I could pour my heart out here. She was a friend unlike any other — and I have been blessed with some wonderful people in my life. Our souls seemed somehow linked. She and San Geraldo adored each other, too. Although irreverent with a dirty mind and a wicked sense of humor, she had a strong belief in god. I am an atheist. Susan and I video-chatted every week (something I usually hate committing to). We texted each other good morning and goodnight every day (something else I usually hate committing to). We opened our hearts to each other, talked about our sadness, our anger, our joy. She was generous, kind, respectful, loving, and stubborn. And we laughed until we were in tears. I’ll just share a few of things she shared with me in the past few years that might give you an idea of who she was. And then I’ll have a siesta. My head has been in a fog and I have a hole in my heart.


Tenía planes de publicar ayer tarde después de mi día en Málaga con Lulu. Pero recibí un mensaje de texto de la nieta de Susan (haz clic aquí), mi amiga única en la vida, de que habían llevado a Susan al hospital y tenían que hacerle RCP. Un poco más tarde, me escribió de nuevo para decirme que Susan había muerto. Susan era lo que yo considero joven, de mi edad. Pero ella tuvo una miríada de problemas de salud durante años y finalmente perdió la batalla. Podría derramar mi corazón aquí. Era una amiga como ninguna otra, y he sido bendecida con algunas personas maravillosas en mi vida. Nuestras almas parecían de alguna manera unidas. Ella y San Geraldo también se adoraban. Aunque irreverente con una mente sucia y un perverso sentido del humor, tenía una fuerte creencia en dios. Soy mayoritariamente ateo. Susan y yo chateábamos por video todas las semanas (algo a lo que generalmente odio comprometerme). Nos enviamos mensajes de texto de buenos días y buenas noches todos los días (otra cosa algo a lo que generalmente odio comprometerme). Abrimos nuestros corazones el uno al otro, hablamos de nuestra tristeza, nuestra ira, nuestra alegría. Era generosa, amable, respetuosa, amorosa y obstinada. Y nos reímos hasta las lágrimas. Solo compartiré algunas de las cosas que compartió conmigo en los últimos años que podrían darles una idea de quién era ella. Y luego voy a tomar una siesta. Mi cabeza ha estado en una niebla. Mi cabeza ha estado en una niebla y tengo un agujero en mi corazón.

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

46 thoughts on “Friends without benefits / Amigos sin beneficios”

  1. Thank you Mitchell for sharing these beautiful thoughts about Susan. I wake up late this morning and I never sleep in but I was dreaming about all of the precious times I had with Susan (Suzie Q)…I got to call her that…she finally gave in to her nickname. One of the many hilarious things Susan said probably my favorite…We spent hours and hours and hours over the last 22 years talking and sharing. I am a little ashamed to admit that sometimes there was some juicy gossip. I would tell Susan I had something to tell her but that I probably shouldn’t and she would say very seriously….”If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me” ….and I always did. Peace and comfort to you.

    1. P:
      I called her Suzie Q a couple of times. She said she used to hate it, but grew to enjoy it thanks to you. She made such a huge difference in my life in such a short time. I remember the first time she told me about you. Her description was filled with love. You made her happy and I’m glad she connected the two of us! Another gift.

  2. Oh, Mitchell. I gasped when I read this. I’m so so sorry to know that you have lost your very dear friend. Holding you close in my heart today.

    1. Judy C:
      Thanks tremendously. We knew she probably wouldn’t be around for a long time, but this was way too soon. I’m so grateful for all our conversations. An exceptional friend.

    1. TTPT:
      This leaves a big emptiness in a lot of lives. But it will be filled with so many rich memories. And to think we were simply modern-day penpals.

  3. Oh my… sorry to hear this. The friendship between you both was/is very admirable and inspiring. Cherish the energy you had for one another.

  4. Mitchell and SG I’m sorry to hear of the death of your dear friend. You life has been greatly enriched and those memories will continue to keep her close and in your heart.

  5. Well you don’t have to ask for my condolence….you know you have those. But I will send you a cyber hug and a kiss.

    ” irreverent with a dirty mind and a wicked sense of humor” . I would have loved her.

    1. Mistress Borghese:
      You definitely would have loved her. She was a devout follower of your blog. I think she might have commented in years past (SusanChurchmouse, or something like that). She stopped commenting on blogs in recent years, but never stopped following. We talked about you often.

    1. Chrissoup:
      Thanks so much. I’m so glad, too. She made life richer and a bit easier. I will hold that in my heart.

  6. Oh, this is sad, sad news indeed, compounded by being so sudden and unexpected. I feel so bad for you, San Geraldo and Susan’s family and other friends. May you find some comfort in your memories of shared emotions and laughs.

    1. Debra:
      I’ve been exchanging texts with her friends and family, which has been very special. I will always smile when I think of her.

    1. Bob:
      She read your blog daily and loved your stories of Carlos. She also loved your way of thinking. You would have loved her, too.

    1. Steve:
      Susan found me because she liked my comments on Going Gently (go figure). I found YOU because of Susan. She was a loyal follower and really enjoyed your blog. She used to comment on blogs as Churchmouse, but stop commenting after a bit and continuing reading every day.

  7. The title made me laugh (best title in a long while!) and then I read the article. Indeed a sad tale, and there are no words for it. 🙁

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