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The wind has been gusting intermittently in recent days. It can be nice and calm one moment and then whistling through the windows and doors the next. We’ve been able to mostly keep one screen in the glass curtain because the wind has, mostly, been blowing from a different direction, but the cross winds in the house can be wild. San Geraldo has a loose pile of recipes he rifles through and then tends to leave stacked on the kitchen counter. They’ve been blown all over the kitchen twice now. They’re currently back on the shelf with something weighing them down.
My walks usually start off calmly and end with the wind whistling through my ears. The photo above is what happens to restaurant adornments (that double as shade producers) when they aren’t battened down.
Given how I’ve been feeling physically, I’ve been having some challenging days emotionally. I know they will pass and I’m doing what I can. It astounds me that no matter how old I get, the damage from the verbal and emotional abuse I grew up with can always show itself during my weak moments. I always thought I would simply outgrow it but those voices are loud and persistent.
As Scarlet said, tomorrow is another day, and today is overcast and humid (Scarlet didn’t say the second bit).
En los últimos días el viento ha estado soplando de forma intermitente. Puede ser agradable y tranquilo en un momento y luego silbar a través de las ventanas y puertas al siguiente. Hemos podido mantener principalmente una pantalla en la cortina de vidrio porque el viento, en su mayoría, ha estado soplando desde una dirección diferente, pero los vientos cruzados en la casa pueden ser fuertes. San Geraldo tiene un montón de recetas que revisa y luego tiende a dejar apiladas en la encimera de la cocina. Ya han volado dos veces por toda la cocina. Actualmente están de nuevo en el estante con algo que los agobia.
Mis caminatas suelen empezar tranquilamente y terminar con el viento silbando en mis oídos. La foto de arriba es lo que les sucede a los adornos de los restaurantes (que también sirven como productores de sombra) cuando no están sujetos.
Dado cómo me siento físicamente, he tenido algunos días desafiantes emocionalmente. Sé que pasarán y estoy haciendo lo que puedo. Me sorprende que no importa la edad que tenga, el daño causado por el abuso verbal y emocional con el que crecí siempre puede manifestarse durante mis momentos de debilidad. Siempre pensé que simplemente lo superaría con la edad, pero esas voces son fuertes y persistentes.
Como dijo Scarlet, mañana será otro día y hoy está nublado y húmedo (Scarlet no dijo la segunda parte).
• No hemos observado aves últimamente, pero esta Gaviota Andaluz de Cresta Gris se desvió de su rumbo y se dispuso a descansar mientras tomábamos un café.
• Camas de playa tempestuosas.
• El aire estaba rico (¿demasiado maduro? ¿apestaba?) con el olor a algas marinas.
• Quería tomar una foto más cercana, pero el tipo que trabaja allí alisa cuidadosamente la arena todas las mañanas y no quería estropear la perfección (que realmente no me gusta) con mis huellas, al menos no mientras él estaba sentado. cercano.
• La sequía. Solía ser un espacio verde en la playa. Aunque se han levantado algunas restricciones, otras, como regar el césped, no.
• La Rotonda del Arco Iris de Torreblanca. Dedicada al “respeto a la igualdad y la diversidad para la humanidad con independencia de su identidad de género u orientación sexual”.
Click the thumbnails to enlarge.
Haz clic en las miniaturas para ampliar.
Now these winds sound like the real deal! Can’t imagine them whirling around indoors!
Oh those ‘past/but ever-present voices’…….. you are doing a fine job keeping them at bay with all your activities. Doesn’t hurt to acknowledge them as you do on occasion to get them exposed and loosen their grip. (your bill is in the mail!!) lol
Ah, the smell of seaweed/kelp! Our car is filled with containers of it as we speak…….on their way to our new abode/garden plot later this morning.
Jim:
SG has on occasion seen a look on my face and said “Tell him to shut up.” Sometimes it’s her. I hope you’ll share photos of your new home and garden. You have always done such an amazing job. The winds can be fierce here and we have a corner apartment with windows and doors on all sides. Great for air circulation!
I loathe the wind … hurricanes, tornados, gusts. Nope; since I can’t see ’em I don’t like ’em.
Kinda like those voices from the past. Amazing what creeps into your head when you don’t realize it. But kiss a husband and pet a cat and look outside and take your walks and the voices make get pushed to the back again.
Bob:
SG is with you. He calls the winds cyclonic. I love them. Anything that demonstrates the power of nature… within limits. I wish I could just shut a window or door to the voices from the past. Not as bad as they used to be but still there.
What is Dylan was right, and the answer is blowing on the wind? (I just wish he had a better voice.) The older I get, the more grey crested I see – in the mirror.
David:
I once heard a music critic say Dylan didn’t have a good voice but at least he could sing on key. Interesting. I would be more gray tailed than gray crested.
Why is it that when we get older all those “voices” leak into our consciousness? My voices usually are about things I think I have done wrong. My best way of dealing with them is to say out loud to myself “look around – no one is here but you – you are safely here – don’t waste this moment – it is the only moment you have to deal with”.
sillygirl:
Whn I’m in a depression the voices are loud and constant. When I screw something up, drop something, or make a simple mistake, they roar at me. SG sees my face and says “tell him to shut up.” (It’s usually “him” but not always.)
I hope your spirits lift soon and those negative voices/thoughts fuck right off.
Debra:
Thank you for saying that. I’m wearing my jewelry totem that says FUCK YOU. It helps.
Yes, comments and hurts from decades ago seem to come back unwanted. I try to let them come, stay a moment then let them go. Easier said than done, sez boud
Boud:
When I’m not mid-depression, they can come and go and that’s fine with me. I know better. When I’m mid-depression, they settle in and get so loud.
Ahhhh, you bring a smile to my face every time I read your latest thoughts, and see your photos, Mitchell 🙂 Damn those early-life negative experiences, though.
Judy
Judy C:
Such a long, long time ago now. My grandfather was an abuser. At my uncle’s 70th birthday party, my aunt told me he still hadn’t gotten over it. NOW I understand.
I, too, thought I’d outgrow certain things like depression and anxiety and although medicine has helped a lot, it can still get intense. I’m sorry you have to go through these things. I’m sorry any of us do. Wouldn’t you love to know what it feels like not to carry all of this stuff around? I would.
Your photos are gorgeous. The Gray-crested Andalusian gull cracked me up. And what IS it about raking the sand at resorts?
Ms. Moon
Ms. Moonsigh:
I WOULD love to know what it feels like. I wonder if there’s anyone who isn’t lugging something around they’d like to leave behind. The sand! Raking is at least aesthetic (a Zen garden), but so unnecessary. I don’t find the smoothing at all aesthetic and then the footprints annoy me because there’s often no interesting pattern.
Sand is meant to be walked upon, but I guess it might have been intimidating if he was watching you. I hope sharing your beautiful scenery here with us lifts your spirits. It certainly lifts mine. (though a kitty photo would have made it even better!)
Kelly:
I’m sure he’s proud of his work and I wouldn’t want to offend him, but to me it’s just bizarre. Soon to come, kitty photos! Despite being unbelievably bossy, they have been lovers.
It was windy when we were there a few weeks ago, and it’s still the same? Be thankful you at least have sunshine and warmth – here in London, it feels more like November, with a chill Northerly wind, rather than June!
Love the “gull”. The wind does play havoc with one’s wiglet! Jx
Jon:
I need a wiglet for some havoc!
You had me with the last few pictures!!! I hope your spirit will lift soon. Should I send you a picture of my naked ass? That might make you laugh!
Mistress Borghese:
Oh, just flash your ass on your blog for all to see. THAT would make a lot of people smile (not laugh).
We have friends staying in Nerja ~ lovin’ every minute of it! You guys are all so very lucky!
Ron:
A beautiful town. SG’s sister and her husband spent a month there some years back and loved it.
Oh, I still have nightmares about my childhood. Those things just stay with you I’m afraid. Hang in there, Mitchell.
Kirk:
I have those nightmares, too. Shocking, isn’t it?
That first picture looks like it could be a parking lot for surfboards.
Walt the Fourth:
Isn’t that water pattern wonderful?
I can understand hearing those “voices,” but at least you know where they’re coming from and to listen to them with a grain of skepticism.
“As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!”
Steve:
You’re right about the voices. Too bad I still often believe them.
Intrusive thoughts and feelings that have created their own stubborn circuits in our brains are hard to diffuse, but it can be done. That’s what makes PTSD therapy dogs so effective: spray bottles on four legs, LOL!
Tundra Bunny:
I’m much better than I used to be. When my clinical depression rears its ugly head, things go south. I love the idea of a spray bottle on 4 legs.
Check your e-mail, hon.
Deedles:
I’m doing so now. Forgot to in recent days!
Deedles:
The postcard is perfection. I’ve just added it to my desktop next to my favorite uplifting meme from Susan. Thanks a million!
I am honored, kind sir!
It would be nice if old wounds went away. Sometimes what he get is learning to dance with a limp
Urspo:
Dancing with a limp is fine with me.