It looks like a giant threw up / Parece que un gigante vomitó

La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.

SAN GERALDO MADE “CLASSIC GOULASH” Thursday night. It’s become one of his new standards. We both love it, it’s even better the next day, and we get three meals out of one pot.

I was setting up for dinner when I heard an enormous crash from the kitchen. I arrived in time to see the Le Creuset cast iron pot lid spinning on the floor and San Geraldo stepping out of the way to avoid a broken foot. The pot itself had already settled, as had most of its contents. I saw our two large servings of goulash already waiting on the counter to be carried to the table. SG was fuming.

I said, “Well, at least you already dished up our dinner.” SG swore and muttered. “ You’ll laugh about this tomorrow,”I said. “Just go. I’ll take care of the mess.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” he moaned.

“Well, you sure shouldn’t.”

I didn’t dare ask him what happened. He sat in his office while I had a grand old time cleaning. I went through four cleaning cloths and six dish towels. I haven’t put everything back in place, but the worst is done. Twenty minutes later, we sat down to dinner. San Geraldo didn’t return to the kitchen before going to bed, didn’t want to talk about it, and I still didn’t know exactly what happened — although the aftermath was obvious. He had left the kitchen so abruptly that he had no clue how big a disaster it was.

I showed him photos this morning. Then he told his story: After he had dished us up, he placed the hot pot back on the trivet. But one of the pot handles was sticking out and he was concerned we might bump into it and knock it over, so he grabbed a handle of the pot with one pot holder and the opposite edge with another, and he lifted the pot to turn it. The pot holder at the edge slipped. He still held one handle as he watched the pot spin in the air, spewing goulash in an arc across the kitchen. When I showed SG the final photo, he gasped and said, “It looks like a giant threw up!”

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SAN GERALDO HIZO “ESTOFADO HÚNGARO” el jueves por la noche. Se ha convertido en uno de sus nuevos estándares. A los dos nos encanta, es aún mejor al día siguiente, y tenemos tres comidas de una olla.

Estaba preparándome para la cena cuando escuché un enorme estrépito de la cocina. Llegué a tiempo para ver la tapa de la olla de hierro fundido de Le Creuset girando en el suelo y San Geraldo saliéndose del camino para evitar una fractura en el pie. . Vi nuestras dos grandes porciones de gulash ya esperando en el mostrador para ser llevadas a la mesa. SG estaba furiosa.

Dije: “Bueno, al menos ya habías servido nuestra cena”. SG maldijo y murmuró. “Te reirás de esto mañana”, le dije. “Solo vete. Yo me ocuparé del desastre”.

No deberías tener que lidiar con esto”, gimió.

Bueno, seguro que no deberías”.

No me atreví a preguntarle qué pasó. Se sentó en su oficina mientras yo pasaba un buen rato limpiando. Pasé por cuatro paños de limpieza y seis paños de cocina. No he vuelto a poner todo en su sitio, pero lo peor ya está hecho. Veinte minutos después, nos sentamos a cenar. San Geraldo no regresó a la cocina antes de irse a la cama, no quería hablar de eso y yo todavía no sabía exactamente qué sucedió — aunque las consecuencias eran obvias. Él había salido de la cocina tan abruptamente que no tenía idea de lo grande que era el desastre.

Le mostré fotos esta mañana. Luego contó su historia: Después de habernos servido, colocó la olla caliente en el salvamanteles. Pero una de las asas de la olla sobresalía y le preocupaba que pudiéramos tropezar con ella y derribarla, así que agarró un asa de la olla con un agarradero y el borde opuesto con otro y levantó la olla para darle la vuelta. El agarrador de olla en el borde se resbaló. Aún sostenía una manija mientras veía girar la olla, escupir haciendo gulash en un arco a través de la cocina. Cuando le mostré a SG la foto final, jadeó y dijo: “¡Parece que un gigante vomitó!

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As San Geraldo would say, “What a dump. Stella!” He gets confused.
Como diría San Geraldo, “Qué vertedero. ¡Stella!” Se confunde.

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San Geraldo uses a mix of ground turkey and ground chicken. Floor tile and cat food are optional.
San Geraldo usa una mezcla de pavo molido y pollo molido. Los azulejos y la comida para gatos son opcionales.

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

32 thoughts on “It looks like a giant threw up / Parece que un gigante vomitó”

    1. wickedhamster:
      I’m so glad our cats have grown to have no interest in “human food.” Imagine trying to clean up that mess with two insatiable cats. Dudo will sometimes be curious about what I’m eating. If I reach it down to him, he sniffs and abruptly backs away.

    1. David:
      If it had fallen on SG’s foot, there would have been a serious break (of the foot, not the pan). I also can’t believe the [ugly] ceramic tile didn’t get cracked. A bad crack would have “forced” us to replace it. But that would mean the rest of the kitchen, too (except the new appliances), and we’ve done enough renovating for now.

    1. Bob:
      We agreed that we had never seen a kitchen disaster that bad. I was shocked though at how quickly I was able to clean it all up. (I have a gift… for something!)

      1. Mistress Maddie:
        Wasn’t that something?!? Of course our cats would have had nothing to do with goulash.

    1. Mistress Maddie:
      Yeah, vomit or the idea of it gives SG the dry heaves (which make me laugh; I do a great imitation).

  1. YIKES! No wonder SG left the kitchen!!
    Recipe looks good and doable. Looks like a perfect fall/winter meal.
    Will try this one.

    1. Jim:
      It really is good and it’s even better as leftovers because the liquid gets completely absorbed. The first night, we eat it with a spoon, the next with a fork.

  2. Don’t know how you had the presence of mind to get photos before cleaning it up, but the photos say it all. Poor SG – his hard work almost for nought. You were good to get him out of there and clean it up.

    1. Wilma:
      Thanks to blogging, I never miss a photo opportunity. But, some things have always been too good to not record When our niece was 6 months old, SG was lying on the floor and holding her in the air above his face. She cheesed. It landed right on his chin. He immediately had the dry heaves (while our niece laughed), but SG’s mother, sister, and I all ran for our cameras.

  3. Well considering SG’s size and the fact that he was holding the pot when it spewed, a giant did indeed throw up! At least no one got hurt or burned. That was a bit too much to apply the five second rule, huh? That is a pretty pot, by the way.

    1. Deedles:
      That pot, empty, weighs more than 10 pounds. If that had been dangling from one of MY hands it probably would have broken my wrist! It’s amazing that he didn’t get burned and that he didn’t break anything (hand, foot, leg) when it went flying. Not even the tile floor was damaged. This is SG favourite kind of pot. This is our second in our years together. And this one is due to be replaced. It was such a shame to waste. I could have put it back in the pot and cooked it some more. Isabel HAD just cleaned the floor. But then there was the cat food in the mix… and cat hair, I suppose.

    1. Parsnip:
      Absolutely amazing. When I heard the noise and SG’s swearing and then saw what was happening, I was stunned he hadn’t been hurt. And i don’t know how the tile floor survived without the tiniest crack or chip.

  4. You often talk about SG’s many wonderful traits, but in this case I give you all the kudos for cleaning up this unholy mess. SG is very lucky to have you as his life’s partner.

    1. Mary:
      And HE knows it. We’re both very lucky. I just finished tonight’s dishes. When I walked into the kitchen, I said, “Oh shit” (simply because I wasn’t in the mood to do dishes). SG said, “It’s not as bad as it looks.” How he would know that is beyond me (but it wasn’t). He said he’d do them. I thanked him but said I would. He said, “Good. Because I would have just left them for tomorrow.” I know from experience that whenever he says “I’ll do them,” he leaves them for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, and then I do them anyway.

  5. I have just such a cast iron roaster, almost the same color. I love it and hate it. It cooks evenly and for that I love it, but when it’s hot, particularly when I’m bending over to get it out of the oven, it’s almost impossible not to get burned. The goulash looks wonderful, I’ll try to recipe.
    I love your blog, thanks for making my day brighter, we’re now in Texas, not our first choice but work! The time difference means I get you late.

    1. Tom and Dimi:
      Ooh, sorry about Texas! Hope it’s one of the more enlightened cities. If not, thank you for casting your votes there! The goulash is excellent.

    1. Urspo:
      Quite an odd choice for a 1st grade performance. How was the rape scene handled I wonder … and Blanche being taken away in a straight jacket.

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