What They Say About Big Feet / Lo Que Dicen Sobre Los Pies Grandes

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

SAN GERALDO HAS big feet. Size 14 or 15 American, 48.5 or 49 in Spain. He’s always been difficult to fit — into shoes! In addition to his foot size, his arches are further back (or is it further forward?) than normal.

When we shoe-shopped in the past, he could usually find his size at Nordstrom’s, a high-end department store in the United States. But, a nice-looking shoe on display often looked like a clown shoe when it was unveiled in size 14. And because of the placement of the arches, he had to buy custom inserts for his shoes. Even then, he rarely had a pair of shoes he found comfortable for long.

Shoe shopping now is even more difficult. San Geraldo’s feet have gotten wider and he’s developed a variety of foot pains. So, he was very excited while recently browsing online that shoes for diabetics have extra cushion exactly where his feet usually hurt the most — and the company had his size. He doesn’t have “diabetic feet,” but he does appreciate an extra cushion. He ordered a surprisingly nice-looking pair, which arrived today.

San Geraldo mentioned one morning to our friend Tynan that he had ordered “diabetic shoes” and Tynan asked, “Oh, are they sugar-free?”

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IN JUNE 2000, THE DAY before our nephew Ryan married Emily we went out for breakfast with our family. We were all crammed around a too-small booth when someone stepped on San Geraldo’s foot. He apologized for his big feet always being in the way.

Ryan said, “You know what they say about big feet…” and at the exact moment that San Geraldo said, “Not true!” Ryan and his brother Matt chorused the actual punchline.

“¡Big shoes!”

San Geraldo’s punchline got the bigger laugh.

By the way, despite San Geraldo’s response, I have no complaints — nor, I’m certain, has anyone else in his checkered past.

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SAN GERALDO TIENE pies grandes. Talla 14 o 15 estadounidenses, 48,5 o 49 en España. Siempre ha sido difícil de poner, ¡en los zapatos! Además del tamaño de su pie, sus arcos están más atrás (¿o más adelante?) de lo normal.

Cuando compramos zapatos en el pasado, generalmente podía encontrar su talla en Nordstrom’s, una tienda departamental de alta gama en los Estados Unidos. Pero, un zapato de buen aspecto en exhibición a menudo se parecía a un zapato de payaso cuando se presentó en la talla 14. Y debido a la colocación de los arcos, tuvo que comprar plantillas personalizadas para sus zapatos. Incluso entonces, rara vez tenía un par de zapatos que encontraba cómodos por mucho tiempo.

Comprar zapatos ahora es aún más difícil. Los pies de San Geraldo se han ensanchado y ha desarrollado una variedad de dolores en los pies. Entonces, estaba muy emocionado mientras recientemente navegaba en línea porque los zapatos para diabéticos tienen un cojín adicional exactamente donde sus pies generalmente duelen más, y la compañía tenía su talla. No tiene “pies diabéticos”, pero aprecia un cojín extra. Ordenó una pareja sorprendentemente bonita, que llegó hoy.

San Geraldo mencionó una mañana a nuestro amigo Tynan que había pedido “zapatos para diabéticos” y Tynan preguntó: “Oh, ¿están sin azúcar?”

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EN JUNIO DE 2000, EL día antes de que nuestro sobrino Ryan se casara con Emily, salimos a desayunar con nuestra familia. Todos estábamos abarrotados alrededor de una mesa demasiado pequeño cuando alguien pisó el pie de San Geraldo. Se disculpó porque sus grandes pies siempre estaban en el camino.

Ryan dijo: “Sabes lo que dicen sobre los pies grandes …” y en el momento exacto en que San Geraldo dijo: “¡No es cierto!” Ryan y su hermano Matt corearon el final de la broma.

“¡Zapatos grandes!”

El final de San Geraldo provocó la risa más grande.

Por cierto, a pesar de la respuesta de San Geraldo, no tengo quejas ni estoy seguro de que haya alguien más en su pasado a cuadros.

Sometimes, we DO find his size in a shoe store.
A veces, encontramos su tamaño en una zapatería.

Traveling With A Saint

We arrived home to Málaga yesterday (Tuesday) morning. I feel great at the moment. Well, not at this specific moment. OK, now I feel great again. But only at the moment. Jet lag and two months of non-stop activity and travel.

I have four gazillion photos to sort through and then share. But, don’t worry, I plan to hone that down to under three gazillion. Today I’ll simply share what it looks like to travel with San Geraldo.

It’s a good thing I don’t care about what anyone thinks (within reason).

On the other hand, San Geraldo is clearly without reason.

AMAZINGLY, NOT SAN GERALDO UNDER THAT BLANKET.
FLYING FROM NEW YORK TO MINNEAPOLIS.
COMING IN FROM THE SCREEN PORCH AT NEPHEW AND
NIECE-IN-LAW’S, RYAN AND EMILY’S, SIOUX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA. 
GREAT-NIECES AND GREAT-NEPHEW (ELOISE, ALICE, AND BENNETT).
THEY WARMED THEIR BACKS AT THE FIREPLACE AND THEN WARMED SAN GERALDO.
(THAT’S AN ‘ELOISE’ STICKER ON HIS FOREHEAD.)
AT A SUPPER CLUB IN SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA (MORE ON THAT LATER).
I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF WHAT WAS GOING ON HERE. (TOWEL AND FAN BOTH?)
BALLARD, WASHINGTON (IN SEATTLE).
TOO COLD. NO HAT.
BALLARD (AGAIN).
TOO SUNNY. NO SUNGLASSES.
NEW YORK TO MÁLAGA.
OK, EVERYONE WAS COLD.
PHASE 2. IT GOT A LITTLE BETTER LATER IN THE FLIGHT.
FED UP WITH ME AND MY CAMERA: “UH, JERRY, MAYBE YOU
WANT TO TRY AGAIN… WITH THE CORRECT NUMBER OF FINGERS.”
“THAT’S MY BOY!”

The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

One day, our niece-in-law Emily emailed her daughter Alice’s teacher to let her know that Alice’s grandparents, Linda (San Geraldo’s sister) and Tom, would be picking her up from kindergarten the next afternoon.

Unnoticed by Emily as she typed, auto-correct changed “in-laws” to “inmates.” (Or at least that’s how Emily explained it to the teacher… and to Linda and Tom.)

Alice’s teacher believed Emily and didn’t call Social Services.

Linda was a second-grade teacher for more than 30 years. She loved her work and was exceptional at it. In addition to their granddaughter Alice (5), Linda and Tom have two other grandchildren, Eloise (8) and Bennett (11). They are the best grandparents, but Linda especially has the admiration of Tom and the rest of us. With her three grandchildren, she has unending love, patience, energy, and authority. If Grandma tells them once, they do it. (Alice is still training Grandpa.)

LINDA, OF COURSE.

Linda and Tom drive into Sioux Falls quite often to take care of the kids when Ryan and Emily have to travel or need some help.

SISTER LINDA AND SAN GERALDO.

Important Note:
No matter how exceptional Linda is, she is also, as I mentioned earlier, San Geraldo’s sister.

The same week as the “inmates” email, Emily told Linda that she was having some window treatments fixed in the house. She asked if Linda could be there once it was scheduled. Linda said of course she could.

The next day, Emily asked Linda if she was available to be at the house that afternoon when the blind man came.

Perplexed, Linda asked, “Why is a blind man coming to the house and what do you want me to do with him?”

FOR YEARS I’VE WONDERED WHY THEY WERE POSED ON THE STOOL.
I FINALLY REALIZED: TO KEEP THEIR EASTER SHOES CLEAN!

As Linda told us, “I guess it runs in the family.”

I am always aware that, in addition to the joy of having San Geraldo in my life, I have the added joy of Linda, Tom, and their loving family. Oh, and of course there’s their entertainment value.

Barry Manilow has a song called “Linda.”

Linda loves Barry Manilow.

But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it (even though Barry Manilow touched my shoulder in a restaurant in Palm Springs in 2001, and we had a run-in at Kennedy Airport in 1974.

(Click here for the run-in  — it’s a funny story — while you listen to “Jailhouse Rock” instead; Linda and Tom were two of the back-up dancers.)