What They Say About Big Feet / Lo Que Dicen Sobre Los Pies Grandes

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

SAN GERALDO HAS big feet. Size 14 or 15 American, 48.5 or 49 in Spain. He’s always been difficult to fit — into shoes! In addition to his foot size, his arches are further back (or is it further forward?) than normal.

When we shoe-shopped in the past, he could usually find his size at Nordstrom’s, a high-end department store in the United States. But, a nice-looking shoe on display often looked like a clown shoe when it was unveiled in size 14. And because of the placement of the arches, he had to buy custom inserts for his shoes. Even then, he rarely had a pair of shoes he found comfortable for long.

Shoe shopping now is even more difficult. San Geraldo’s feet have gotten wider and he’s developed a variety of foot pains. So, he was very excited while recently browsing online that shoes for diabetics have extra cushion exactly where his feet usually hurt the most — and the company had his size. He doesn’t have “diabetic feet,” but he does appreciate an extra cushion. He ordered a surprisingly nice-looking pair, which arrived today.

San Geraldo mentioned one morning to our friend Tynan that he had ordered “diabetic shoes” and Tynan asked, “Oh, are they sugar-free?”

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IN JUNE 2000, THE DAY before our nephew Ryan married Emily we went out for breakfast with our family. We were all crammed around a too-small booth when someone stepped on San Geraldo’s foot. He apologized for his big feet always being in the way.

Ryan said, “You know what they say about big feet…” and at the exact moment that San Geraldo said, “Not true!” Ryan and his brother Matt chorused the actual punchline.

“¡Big shoes!”

San Geraldo’s punchline got the bigger laugh.

By the way, despite San Geraldo’s response, I have no complaints — nor, I’m certain, has anyone else in his checkered past.

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SAN GERALDO TIENE pies grandes. Talla 14 o 15 estadounidenses, 48,5 o 49 en España. Siempre ha sido difícil de poner, ¡en los zapatos! Además del tamaño de su pie, sus arcos están más atrás (¿o más adelante?) de lo normal.

Cuando compramos zapatos en el pasado, generalmente podía encontrar su talla en Nordstrom’s, una tienda departamental de alta gama en los Estados Unidos. Pero, un zapato de buen aspecto en exhibición a menudo se parecía a un zapato de payaso cuando se presentó en la talla 14. Y debido a la colocación de los arcos, tuvo que comprar plantillas personalizadas para sus zapatos. Incluso entonces, rara vez tenía un par de zapatos que encontraba cómodos por mucho tiempo.

Comprar zapatos ahora es aún más difícil. Los pies de San Geraldo se han ensanchado y ha desarrollado una variedad de dolores en los pies. Entonces, estaba muy emocionado mientras recientemente navegaba en línea porque los zapatos para diabéticos tienen un cojín adicional exactamente donde sus pies generalmente duelen más, y la compañía tenía su talla. No tiene “pies diabéticos”, pero aprecia un cojín extra. Ordenó una pareja sorprendentemente bonita, que llegó hoy.

San Geraldo mencionó una mañana a nuestro amigo Tynan que había pedido “zapatos para diabéticos” y Tynan preguntó: “Oh, ¿están sin azúcar?”

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EN JUNIO DE 2000, EL día antes de que nuestro sobrino Ryan se casara con Emily, salimos a desayunar con nuestra familia. Todos estábamos abarrotados alrededor de una mesa demasiado pequeño cuando alguien pisó el pie de San Geraldo. Se disculpó porque sus grandes pies siempre estaban en el camino.

Ryan dijo: “Sabes lo que dicen sobre los pies grandes …” y en el momento exacto en que San Geraldo dijo: “¡No es cierto!” Ryan y su hermano Matt corearon el final de la broma.

“¡Zapatos grandes!”

El final de San Geraldo provocó la risa más grande.

Por cierto, a pesar de la respuesta de San Geraldo, no tengo quejas ni estoy seguro de que haya alguien más en su pasado a cuadros.

Sometimes, we DO find his size in a shoe store.
A veces, encontramos su tamaño en una zapatería.

Peacock, My Ass

When I was first out of university and looking for a job (with my degree in Art with minors in Psychology and English), my mother’s friend, Leah Meis (name changed to protect the unkind) insisted I meet her son-in-law to see if he had a job for me. He interviewed me in Leah’s bedroom (and, no, I didn’t put out) and offered me a job in the mailroom of his factory-of-some-sort in New Jersey. I didn’t like him much (nor did I like the offer); I thanked him and turned him down.

The next day, Leah arrived at my parents’ apartment and demanded I take the mailroom job. I told her I was looking for something a bit more challenging and interesting.

Leah said, “Get the feathers out of your ass, Mitchell! You’re not a peacock!”

Once I was gainfully employed, I walked into Saks Fifth Avenue and bought myself a very expensive, hand-painted, silk necktie. One spectacular peacock feather on a scarlet background.

(After another 15 years, Leah Meis retired to New Jersey and my mother, having finally decided she’d endured enough nastiness, refused to visit her.)



Dudo’s Peacock Feather
On the subject of peacocks, when our niece Lindy’s parents were visiting last month, her mother, Debbie, brought a bag of toys for the cats — two of each item. Included were a pair of peacock feathers from their own farm peacocks. Dudo and Moose were (and are) ecstatic.

My Ass
In preparation for our move to Spain more than 5 years ago, I finally retired that very old peacock feather necktie. I’ve at times considered having a peacock fan tattooed across my entire back (emerging from the crack of my ass).

(Click the images for a closer look… at Dudo, not my ass.)

DUDO AND HIS PEACOCK FEATHER.
SOMETHING FLEW BY.
WAS THAT AN ENTIRE PEACOCK???

Light Eating After Seeing The Lights

Our favorite restaurant in Málaga is now our favorite three restaurants in Málaga (and they have a fourth on the way). We discovered El Meson de Cervantes nearly six years ago during our first visit to Spain (eight months before moving here). Then, Matt and Lindy told us about their other restaurant, El Tapeo de Cervantes. And, now there’s a third restaurant, Vinería Cervantes. So, that’s where we went Monday night after we saw the light(s).

I’ve provided English descriptions beneath each photo. Their Spanish menu wouldn’t load for me to copy the info and their translations don’t always tell the whole story, but you’ll definitely get the idea.

It seems impossible we managed to eat all this. (But, click the pics and I think you’ll understand.)

SEA BREAM WRAPPED IN COURGETTE,
CARROT PUREE, AND A JUNIPER SAUCE.
RED PEPPERS STUFFED WITH COD
AND SERVED WITH A TOMATO SAUCE.
OXTAIL EMPANADILLAS.
BATTERED PRAWNS WITH TREACLE
AND A CORIANDER MAYONNAISE.
GRILLED OCTOPUS (IN AN INK SAUCE!!!) WITH SMOKED MASHED POTATOES.
(NONE FOR ME. THE SUCTION CUPS GET STUCK TO THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH.)
BOAR STEW WITH SWEET MÁLAGA WINE,
TOPPED BY A SPANISH TORTILLA.
FRIED EGGPLANT WITH TREACLE.
IBERIAN PORK WITH BAKED PUMPKIN.
PUMPKIN RISOTTO AND WILD MUSHROOMS.
WARM APPLE TART WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM.
(I DID NOT SHARE…)

Brighter Than The Lights On Broadway / Más Brillante Que Las Luces De Broadway

THE CITY OF Málaga beamed with joy because our nephew and niece-in-law, Matt and Lindy, were here. The lights speak for themselves, so I’ll shut up. (But, be sure to catch me with my mouth wide open at the end.)

(Click the images; if you don’t know why, you will.)

LA CIUDAD DE Málaga brilló con alegría porque nuestro sobrino y sobrina, Matt y Lindy, estaban aquí. Las luces hablan por sí solas, así que me callo. (Pero, asegúrate de cogerme con la boca bien abierta al final.)


(Haz clic en las imágenes, si no sabe por qué, lo hará.)

CALLE MARQUES DE LARIOS, MÁLAGA.
THE MAIN  PEDESTRIAN SHOPPING STREET IN THE OLD CITY.

PLAZA DE LA CONSTITUCIÓN.

ANOTHER TREE; BESIDE THE CATHEDRAL.
OTRO ÁRBOL; AL LADO DEL CATEDRAL.
THE BISHOP’S PALACE.
EL PALACIO DEL OBISPO
DRIVING THROUGH THE CITY AS WE HEAD HOME.
CONDUCIENDO POR LA CIUDAD CUANDO FUIMOS A CASA.
LINDY TOOK AN “USSIE.”
NO ES UN “SELFIE”; ES UN “USSIE”.

Today On Show: The Rat Pack

Tuesday night, San Geraldo and I were in Málaga for a farewell dinner (until next time) with our nephew Matt and his wife Lindy. They fell in love with Málaga several years ago and we’ve been the lucky recipients of nearly annual visits.

To say that I adore, admire, love, and respect Matt and Lindy would be understating my feelings for them.

We took in Málaga’s Christmas lights before enjoying another amazing dinner. While I sort through my 145 photos (whittled down from the original 221), I thought I’d share this shot of a club we passed. It really has nothing to do with anything except it had us all laughing.

SAY WHAT???

AFTER READING THE SIGN BY THE DOOR, MATT THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER
HAD THE MARQUIS READ: TODAY ON SHOW, THE PACK RAT