La versión español está después de la foto.
WHEN THE KID Brother was still a “kid” and was trying to learn simple addition and subtraction, he told Our Mother The Dowager Duchess that all he wanted was a “cock-a-rator.” She told him he couldn’t have a “calculator” because he needed to learn to add and subtract on his own. (He never really did.)
When I was in high school and learned to drive, I fantasized about buying (or having bought for me) a Porsche. When I showed the Kid Brother what I wanted, he began to hound my father to buy me one. But he also thought a “Catarac” (Cadillac) would be good.
Years later, The Kid Brother bought himself a cock-a-rator.
I just traded in my “catarac.” But not for a Porsche.
This all leads up to the fact that a common side effect of my vitrectomy surgery in May for a detached retina is cataracts. And — since I’m nothing if not common — my vitrectomy was followed six months later (yesterday) with cataract surgery (conventional, no lasers). All is well. I should be fully recovered in another few weeks — according to my cock-a-rations.
CUANDO EL HERMANITO era un niño y no podía hacer sumas y restas simples, le dijo a Nuestra Madre La Duquesa Viuda, que todo lo que quería era un “cock-a-rator” (calculator). Ella le dijo que no podía tener una “calculadora” porque necesitaba aprender a sumar y restar por su cuenta.
Cuando yo tenía 16 años y aprendí a conducir, fantaseaba con comprar (o haberme comprado) un Porsche. Cuando le mostré a El Hermanito qué tipo de coche quería, comenzó a acosar a nuestro padre para que me comprara uno. Pero también pensó que un “Catarac” (Cadillac) sería bueno.
Años después, El Hermanito se compró un “cock-a-rator”.
Acabo de cambiar mi “Catarac”. Pero no para un Porsche.
Todo esto lleva al hecho de que un efecto secundario común de mi cirugía de vitrectomía en mayo para una retina desprendida son las cataratas. Y — dado que no soy nada si no es común — mi vitrectomía fue seguida seis meses después (ayer) con cirugía de cataratas (convencional, sin láseres). Todo está bien. Debería estar completamente recuperado en otras 3 semanas — de acuerdo con mis cock-a-rations (cálculos).
Oh, new system for comments! Woo hoo!
You always put on a smile, Mitchell, even when you’re having cataract surgery. Here’s to good healing 🙂
Judy,
New system is news to me. But glad it gets a woo hoo. Doing well. Back to doctor this afternoon.
I, too, wanted a cock-a-rater, but I think mine did something different than math.
Hope your Cadillacs heal nicely.
Bob,
I have never liked cadillacs. Have however liked cock-a-rators.
It’s fascinating how delicate and sturdy an eye can be. Since I didn’t want to watch the video, my doctor described my cataract surgery as taking an M&M, slicing it, scooping out the chocolate and replacing it with seeing better eye goop or something. I’m glad I didn’t see the video! I remember having good drugs and being awake, sort of, for the procedure. Pretty colors were involved. I don’t remember hollering “It’s alive!” as they pushed the gurney in. My twelve year old ophthalmologist got a big kick out of that.
You look dashing with or without the eyewear.
Deedles,
I’ve been reading and looking at photos and videos for months. Have you ever watched a vitrectomy? After that my cataract was a walk in the park. My drugs were clearly not as good as yours!
Ewwwww! I refuse to look at anything even remotely resembling that! Balder Half says I got some kind of implant. Did it again the following year on the other eye. I think I may be too trusting of a medical profession that will allow tweens to do surgery!
You look cool with the shades.
Kirk,
These free from the hospital really aren’t that bad.
Glad all is well.
Carole,
Doing fine. Back to doctor today.
Hey ‘Mr. Hollywood’ I love your positivity about all this!! I’d be a mess!!
Healing energy coming your way from the 3 of us here on the balmy (+10C) shores of Nova Scotia. Please take care and listen to SG!!
Jim,
I was OK although a bit stressed before-hand. Once I was in pre-op, I was fine. Now looking forward to being able to exercise again.
Hope you are as happy with your results as have been with mine. You look fetching both pre- and post-surgery.
Wilma:
Progressing well. Still fuzzy but better every hour. Back to the doctor this afternoon!
movie star! cock-a-rator: is that like mistress maddie’s cock-a-tails? (hee hee)
LOVE the shades; hollywood style!
I wonder if a “cock-a-rator” is the same as mistress maddie’s “cock-a-tails”?
anne marie:
I don’t think The Kid Brother’s cock-a-rator would have any relation to anything of mistress maddie’s. MY cock-a-rator definitely would.
Feel better soon, Mitchell! And oooooo, “Pink Cadillac” — that song was huge in the lesbian bar when I first came out! Great to hear it again!
Debra:
Natalie Cole did a great job with the song. I’m glad it brings back good memories.