Lockdown Day 71: Pickled Penis & Misplaced Poop / Encierro Día 71: Pene Pepinillo y Porqueria Perdida

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

THIS IS ALL SAN GERALDO’S fault. He was plating up a lunch yesterday that included crackers layered with ham and cheese. As he worked, he called out to me from the kitchen, “We’re having pickled penis!”

Now, although San Geraldo would never be accused of being at all times a mature adult (click here for proof), he’s usually not the one in this family with his mind in the gutter. But, as he topped the first slice of cheese with pickles (a surprisingly nice combination), you’ll see why he thought what he did.

SG went on to say that perhaps they instead looked like alligators, but I didn’t agree. Maybe alligator mushrooms — because everyone knows what mushrooms look like.

THIS MORNING WHEN SG GOT out of bed and headed into his bathroom, he gasped and stepped back. I, having been up only since 6:30 (just a little achy this morning), ran over to see what the problem was. There appeared to be a large (for a cat) turd on the floor. I turned on the light. What a relief.

MÁLAGA PROVINCE IS BEING HELD back at Phase 1 for one more week. Not everyone is happy about that. We meet all criteria — except that the phases were designed to each last two weeks. We went into Phase 1 a week late. So, we’ve still got a week to go before: Maximum capacities are increased in shops and on restaurant terraces, restaurants and bars (over 70sm/754sf) can open at 30 percent capacity, shopping centers at 40 percent, theatres, cinemas, and swimming pools at 30 percent.

The only clouds in the sky today are there simply to make the brilliant and consistent blue a bit more interesting. It’s already 25C (77F). My walk on the beach was outstanding.


TODO ESTO ES CULPA DE San Geraldo. Él estaba preparando un almuerzo ayer que incluía galletas saladas con jamón y queso. Mientras trabajaba, me llamó desde la cocina: “¡Tenemos penes pepenillos!”

Ahora, aunque San Geraldo nunca sería acusado de ser en todo momento un adulto maduro (haz clic aquí para obtener una prueba), por lo general no es el de esta familia con la mente en la cuneta. Pero, cuando superó la primera rebanada de queso con encurtidos (una combinación sorprendentemente agradable), verá por qué pensó lo que hizo.

Continuó diciendo que quizás en su lugar parecían caimanes, pero no estaba de acuerdo. Tal vez hongos, porque todos saben cómo son los hongos.

ESTA MAÑANA, CUANDO SG SALIÓ de la cama y se dirigió a su baño, jadeó y dio un paso atrás. Yo, habiendo estado despierto solo desde las 6:30 (solo un poco adolorido esta mañana), corrí a ver cuál era el problema. Parecía haber un gran polvo (para un gato) en el suelo. Encendí la luz. Qué alivio.

LA PROVINCIA DE MÁLAGA ESTÁ retenida en la Fase 1 por una semana más. No todos están contentos con eso. Cumplimos con todos los criterios, excepto que las fases se diseñaron para cada una de las últimas dos semanas. Entramos en la Fase 1 una semana tarde. Por lo tanto, todavía nos queda una semana: las capacidades máximas aumentan en tiendas y en terrazas de restaurantes, los restaurantes y bares (más de 70 m2 / 754 pies cuadrados) pueden abrir al 30 por ciento de capacidad, centros comerciales al 40 por ciento, teatros, cines, y piscinas al 30 por ciento.

Las únicas nubes en el cielo hoy están ahí simplemente para hacer que el azul brillante y consistente sea un poco más interesante. Ya es 25C (77F). Mi paseo por la playa fue excepcional.

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

27 thoughts on “Lockdown Day 71: Pickled Penis & Misplaced Poop / Encierro Día 71: Pene Pepinillo y Porqueria Perdida”

  1. Good to hear you have less pain now. Nothing better than a walk on a beach to settle all.
    Now to the penis and poop…….yes and phew!

    1. Jim:
      I woke up the last two mornings with an ache that forced me out of bed. But once I was up, it wasn’t a problem. And I did actually get most of a night’s sleep.

  2. that looks like a cat toy, not poop! eat a penis for lunch…whatever floats your boats!

    1. anne marie:
      Uh, yeah… And as you can see, I had five penises for lunch… with cheese.

  3. Someone should host a bloggers the erotic looking food contest. John over at Going Gently https://disasterfilm.blogspot.com/ to have a novelty veg contest as part of the local flower show. I hope that is a misplaced cat toy and not the cats attempt as artistry.

    1. David:
      The entries that John has always shared were brilliant. The cat’s toys rarely get misplaced. Dudo drags them everywhere and often leaves them as gifts for us.

  4. I laughed so hard at this, Scoot! I’m trying to imagine SG’s voice saying “pickled penis” and it makes me chuckle even more. That “turd” (not SG) looks like a chocolate bunny lost his cocoa carrot during the Easter Bunny’s rounds 🙂
    You two make me smile. Thanks for your service in these pandemic times.

    1. Deedles:
      Thank YOU! I didn’t usually post every day before, but I decided that during lockdown it was important. People need as many distractions as they can get. SG was very proud of his pickled penis.

  5. Pickled penis would have been my first thought too – so artistic 🙂 And bloody hell must have been a relief when it wasn’t poop. Our restaurants opened this week (not all, some are still making changes inside) to 50% capacity. We drove around yesterday and it didn’t look that busy at those that had opened. I don’t think people are quite ready to jump back into the pool.

    1. Cheapchick:
      One of our favorite places, Primavera, opened its terrace for dining. We trust them and know their place is always immaculate and well managed, but still haven’t been comfortable heading out for a meal. Just going out for coffee was a bit anxiety producing at first.

  6. A day of excitement, for sure! To my eye, they look like alligator mushrooms – delicious alligator mushrooms. I bet SG is looking forward to the next phase and a few meals cooked by someone other than himself.

    I, too, had an enjoyable walk (and swim) on the beach this morning. It is one of those beautifully calm days with clear water. All the better to see the stingrays so you don’t step on them!

    1. Wilma:
      We’ve done take-away pizza twice. Haven’t felt comfortable yet to venture out for terrace dining. But, yes he’s tired of cooking and I’m tired of washing dishes! I’ve never swum in water so clear you can actually see the stingrays. It must be stunning. In San Diego, we’d have to shuffle our feet in the sand until we got deep enough to swim. It was very unsettling.

    1. Judy:
      I guess reading my blog is just like another day at work for you (juvenile).

    1. Steve:
      The cats will be 9 years old in two months. They’ve never gone anywhere but in their litter box and they don’t spit up hairballs, although they constantly groom themselves. We’ve been very grateful. So, there was definitely a moment of panic when we peered into the unlit bathroom.

      And I suppose I can’t blame you, but I never had pictured Shrek with a penis and now I can’t get the thought out of my mind!

  7. Hmmm… four pickle penises pointing out, and one pointing in. There must be some deep inner meaning there.

  8. Walt the Fourth:
    You know, I hadn’t even noticed that (which is really surprising). And if you’d like to explore SG’s psyche to make sense of THAT, have at it!

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