What Turns Me On / Lo Que Me Excita

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

WELL, LET’S NOT get TOO personal here. As far as “turn-ons” go, I’m only going to tell you some of the things that I like and don’t like as an excuse for sharing an abundance of photos from my visit to the City of New York in September. Although this has nothing to do with sex, it will still give you some insights into my psyche.

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BUENO, NO NOS volvamos demasiado personales aquí. En cuanto a “excitaciones”, solo voy a contar algunas de las cosas que me gustan y no me gustan como excusa para compartir una gran cantidad de fotos de mi visita a la ciudad de Nueva York en septiembre. Aunque esto no tiene nada que ver con el sexo, aún te dará algunas ideas sobre mi psique.

TURN-ON:
The Rainbow flag and all its iterations — symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer pride.
EXCITACIÓN:
La bandera arcoiris y todas sus iteraciones — símbolo de orgullo lesbiana, gay, bisexual, transgénero, y intersexual.
TURN-ON:
LGBTQ+ Artists and this special exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum called “Nobody Promised You Tomorrow: Art 50 Years After Stonewall.”
The above tapestry created in 2011 is by LJ Roberts from Royal Oak, Michigan (born 1980). The catchy title is “The Queer Houses of Brooklyn in the Three Towns of Breukelen, Boswyck, and Midwout during the 41st year of the Stonewall Era,” (based on a 2010 drawing by Daniel Rosza Lang/Levitsky with 24 illustrations by Buzz Slutzky on printed pin-back buttons).

EXCITACIÓN:
Artistas LGBTI + y esta exposición especial en el Museo de Brooklyn llamada “Nadie te Prometió Mañana: Arte 50 Años Después de Stonewall”.
El tapiz anterior creado en 2011 es de LJ Roberts de Royal Oak, Michigan (nacido en 1980). El pegadizo título es “Las casas queer de Brooklyn en las tres ciudades de Breukelen, Boswyck, y Midwout durante el año 41 de la era de Stonewall” (basado en un dibujo de 2010 de Daniel Rosza Lang / Levitsky con 24 ilustraciones de Buzz Slutzky en botones impresos alfileros).
“Armory,” 2o18, by Mohammed Fayaz, born in Brooklyn in 1990.
“Armería”, 2o18, de Mohammed Fayaz, nacido en Brooklyn en 1990.
“Instructions for a Freedom,” 2015, by Amaryllis DeJesus Moleski born in Bordeaux, France, in 1985.
“Instrucciones para una Libertad”, 2015, de Amaryllis DeJesus Moleski, nacida en Burdeos, Francia, en 1985.
TURN-ON:
Weird toilets (this one at a restaurant in Chelsea).
EXCITACIÓN:
Aseos extraños (este en un restaurante en Chelsea).
TURN-ON:
Words that don’t sound the way they look. This is in Brooklyn Heights. It doesn’t rhyme with “You’re a lemon.”
EXCITACIÓN:
Palabras que no suenan como se ven. Esto está en Brooklyn Heights. No rima con “You’re a lemon” (que significa “eres un limón”).
TURN-OFF:
My annoying eyes. This was how it looked my first day in New York… and again last week.
DESVÍO:
Mis ojos molestos. Así se veía mi primer día en Nueva York … y nuevamente la semana pasada.
TURN-ON:
Being overloaded with gifts for my pal Luke and his little brother Beckett.
EXCITACIÓN:
Estar sobrecargado con regalos para mi amiguito Luke y su hermanito Beckett.
TURN-OFF:
The 92-year-old Cyclone wooden roller coaster in Coney Island. In foreground is a newly repaired section. IS THAT KINDLING?!?
DESVÍO:
La montaña rusa de madera Cyclone de 92 años en Coney Island. En primer plano hay una sección recién reparada. ¿ESO ES ENCENDIDO?
TURN-ON:
Pre-cut food (at Whole Foods Market in Chelsea). Cutting is cooking!
EXCITACIÓN:
Comida precortada (en el Mercado Whole Foods Market en Chelsea). ¡Cortar es cocinar!
TURN-ON:
Any organizer store. THIS ONE IN CHELSEA MIGHT BE BETTER THAN SEX!
EXCITACIÓN:
Cualquier tienda organizadora. ¡ESTO EN CHELSEA PODRÍA SER MEJOR QUE EL SEXO!
And my favorite turn-on— in the airport in Oslo, Norway. Still, you turn me on.
Y mi excitación favorita — en el aeropuerto en Oslo, Noruega. Aún, me enciendes.

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Dog Pee?

There’s a restaurant nearby that has great food and service. It’s less than a 10-minute walk and the atmosphere is great.

The men’s room is well-maintained (that matters to some people), but I find the inside of the toilet lid to be very peculiar — and a bit confusing.

WAS I SUPPOSED TO AIM FOR THE DOG’S MOUTH?
(THE COLOR OF THAT TONGUE MAKES ME THINK SO.)

Karma, It’ll Bite You In The Ass

So, I was sitting on the toilet Friday morning. Yes, that really is how this story begins.

So, I was sitting on the toilet and Dudo decided, as always, it was a perfect opportunity for us to spend some time together. First, he forcefully pushed the door open with his front paws. He checked to make sure I wasn’t getting into the shower and then ran for a toy. (The usual routine.)

I threw the toy. He fetched it. I threw it again. He fetched it again. The third time, he returned with a long knotted-up string. We had a tug-of-war. I threw it. He fetched it. He tired of that and then raised up on his hind legs to head-butt my thigh. I took the hint and stroked and petted him. He clearly wanted to hop up on my lap. That was not about to happen.

I stopped responding to his head butts, assuming he’d leave me in peace.

Then I yelped.

DUDO, OUR LITTLE ANGEL.
(CLICK FOR THE BIGGER PICTURE.)

Annoyed by my lack of attention, Dudo bit me on the ass! Well, more precisely, he gave me a love bite (with his sharp little teeth) on the upper thigh.

The message: “Don’t ignore me, goddammit!”

I of course gave him a stern lecture. He apologised.

Show me your teeth…