No dick waffles for you / No hay gofres de polla para ti

La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.

I told Cousin Al about the dick waffle shop in Málaga (click here) and he felt his visit would not be complete without photos of us enjoying some dick (waffles), and maybe even a vulva (waffle).

When we arrived at the corner of Plaza de la Merced, there was a “for rent” sign on the shop. So, no dicks or vulvas for us. We were so disappointed. But after an afternoon coffee we passed a new candy shop on the Plaza de la Constitución.

Al is a superb baker and he was drawn to the windows by what he said were incorrectly textured, although beautifully colored, macaroons. It turned out they were marshmallow macaroons, alongside marshmallow bananas and marshmallow strawberries. They were enormous. Apparently they’re made of two different types of marshmallow — the traditional soft and hard and crusty. I was so tempted. Inside were all kinds of artful gummy candy. I bought a small assortment for Al to take home to his 5-year-old son.

And now I am on my way to the gym. And I mean it this time.


Le conté al primo Al sobre la tienda de gofres de polla en Málaga (haz clic aquí) y sintió que su visita no estaría completa sin fotos de nosotros disfrutando de una polla (de gofre), y tal vez incluso una vulva (de gofre).

Cuando llegamos a la esquina de la Plaza de la Merced, había un cartel de “se alquila” en la tienda. Entonces, no había pollas ni vulvas para nosotros. Estábamos tan decepcionados. Pero después de un café de la tarde pasamos por una nueva tienda de dulces en la Plaza de la Constitución.

Al es un excelente panadero y se sintió atraído por las ventanas por lo que dijo que eran macarrones de textura incorrecta, aunque de hermosos colores. Resultó que eran macarrones de nube, junto con plátanos de malvavisco y fresas de malvavisco. Eran enormes. Aparentemente, están hechos de dos tipos diferentes de nube: el tradicional suave, y duro y crujiente. Estaba tan tentado. Dentro había todo tipo de ingeniosos dulces gomosos. Compré un pequeño surtido para que Al se lo llevara a casa a su hijo de 5 años.

Y ahora voy camino al gimnasio. Y lo digo en serio esta vez.

• The white thing at lower left is a chocolate-covered kiwi. That was for me. It wasn’t worth the indulgence. It looks like something else, but I don’t know what.
• La cosa blanca abajo a la izquierda es un kiwi cubierto de chocolate. Eso fue para mí. No valía la pena la indulgencia. Parece otra cosa, pero no sé qué.

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

24 thoughts on “No dick waffles for you / No hay gofres de polla para ti”

    1. Jim:
      We glanced inside after our coffee. It was empty. But we had a FaceTime call scheduled with Al’s parents. So we returned a half hour later and it was mobbed with people buying things — not just looking. I was delighted to see that.

  1. Add that to the list of places to see. Wait, he has a kid? I get the feeling Al has a huge life story.

    1. David:
      Al does have a huge life story. Artist, curator, professor, father, gallery creator and director. And he loves to tell his stories.

  2. That candy store is okay, I guess, but it’s no substitute for DICK ‘n VULVA WAFFLES! What a disappointment that the store has gone under. Good thing you documented it in time!

    1. Debra:
      It’s OK. I found another one just 10 minutes away from the one that closed. I’m hoping to hit it tomorrow — with apologies to Al.

  3. That chocolate covered kiwi (ew) looks like a form of prehistoric birth control. A fossilized used condom, if you will. Or it could be just a flattened biscuit. Eye of the beholder and all that. My beholden eye is always weird. Anyway, everything else looks tooth decayingly scrumptious. By the way, what is this mythically far off place that you call THE GYM? Sounds quite hideous!

    1. Deedles:
      I love kiwis. I love chocolate. What could possibly go wrong? A lot! That’s it!!! A used condom!!! I couldn’t put my finger on it… and I won’t. THE GYM thing has two vending machines with drinks and snacks. All kind of healthy, however. They also sell clothes, play music, and have nice showers and free soap!

  4. What a shame about the penis waffles! According to Google our London branch of La Polleria (called “The Cockery”) is still open — I’ve never darkened the door myself. I like cocks but I’m indifferent to waffles.

    1. It seems to have opened very recently, Steve – the place used to be a sushi bar, I think – but it couldn’t have a better location, among the massage parlours, sex shops and gay bars of Soho! Must give it a try…

      Shame the Malaga branch has gone, Mitchell, but at least you had a sweet shop to console you and Al!

      That white chocolate “thing” looks like dried bird shit. I don’t think it would have tempted me, tbh.


      1. Jon:
        I found another La Pollería in Málaga just 10 minutes from that one that closed. I wish I had thought to do a search when I was there with Al. I’ll have to grab a dick or vulva (nah, definitely dick) by myself. I’m pretty sure Al will forgive me.

    2. Steve:
      I found another La Pollería not far from the one that closed. I wish I had thought to do a search when I was there with Al. I might go back tomorrow. I don’t usually eat waffles either, but I’m willing to take a dick (waffle) for the team.

    1. Jennifer:
      First, I found another dick waffle shop not far from the one that closed! Too bad for Al, though. Deedle was right on the money. It looked so familiar and I just couldn’t figure it out. It was deinitely a used condom!

  5. MIss Deedles, you and I must be on the same wavelength this morning, because I, too, thought the chocolate-covered kiwi looked like a fossilized condom, LOL!

    The marshmallow bananas and licorice whips look tasty, but pale in comparison to dick waffles.

    1. Tundra Bunny:
      You and Deedles win the prize (although there’s no prize because shipping has become so expensive). That was exactly what I had in the back of my mind and couldn’t bring forward. I found another dick waffle shop! More to come… (groan). I seriously didn’t mean it that way, but what the heck.

    1. Bob:
      I found another shop in Málaga (it’s a chain… of dicks and vulvas). The one I knew about was not in a good location, so no surprise it didn’t catch on. I hope the other one is a hit. I’m hoping to get there tomorrow.

    1. Roentare:
      My days in Málaga are uplifting and coming home to the beach and much smaller and calmer Fuengirola is great. That candy shop was so much fun. But too much sugar for me.

    1. Walt the Fourth:
      The shop is really well done, and it was mobbed when we went back (after a FaceTime call).

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