A Torn Retina And A Spotted Dick?

I celebrated my birthday Thursday. Because it was in fact my birthday, so it seemed like the right thing to do. This is my fourth year to celebrate my birthday here in Fuengirola. It’s become a tradition to go to Sandpiper Restaurant if only to have the opportunity to share the celebration with Jessica, even though she has to work.

In honor of my torn (no longer) retina, I thought I should have a defective-sounding dessert (in the UK, called pudding). So, I opted for some Spotted Dick. It’s much better than it sounds. (Click here to read the original story of Spotted Dick and another traditional English, um, pudding.)

I OBSESSED WITH AESTHETICALLY ARRANGING JESSICA’S STARS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAYS.
SAN GERALDO’S SOLUTION WAS TO SHOVEL THEM INTO A PILE…
…AFTER CONSIDERING A MELTDOWN, I SATISFIED MYSELF WITH THIS.
MY SPOTTED DICK.
(OR AS JESSICA PREFERS TO CALL IT, SPOTTED RICHARD.)
SMILING DESPITE A RECENTLY TORN RETINA
AND A SPOTTED DICK.
And since I enjoyed some Spotted Dick, I thought you might enjoy a Little Richard…

Spotted Dick In Spain

Our favourite English-style restaurant here in Fuengirola is, as you might already know, Sandpiper. Chef/Owner Jason recently added two new desserts. Jessica told me about them.

One of the new desserts is “Treacle Sponge,” a traditional British dessert of sponge cake drizzled with treacle (golden syrup) and often served with custard.

Jessica was very unhappy to learn that the other dessert was called “Spotted Dick.” I’ve heard of it before — the dessert, I mean. Well, come to think of it… Oh, never mind. Anyway, the dessert is commonly made with suet, flour and raisins, and served with custard.

Jessica (Spanish) was appalled and told Jason that, until the new menus were printed, she would write the desserts on a piece of paper. She was not going to say “Spotted Dick.”

A few days later, there was more to the story. Ana, Jessica’s mother and Jason’s life and business partner, was told about the new desserts.

“Spotted Dick,” she said.

No problem.

But then she tried “Treacle Sponge.”

With Ana’s Spanish accent, “Treacle Sponge” sounded like “Treacle Spunk.” And no matter how many times she tried, it always came out the same.

When Jason stopped laughing, he told her what “spunk” was. Jessica had already told her about “dick.” Ana said she would not be selling either until they were printed on the menu.

Friday night, I ordered Spotted Dick to share with San Geraldo.

When Jessica brought the dish to the table, San Geraldo asked (cluelessly), “Does the spotted dick have nuts?”

Jessica stood in stunned silence.

San Geraldo continued (still clueless), “Because I hate nuts.”

Jessica walked away before I could tell her that I usually eat San Geraldo’s nuts.

SPOTTED DICK, NO NUTS.
TREACLE SPUNK… I MEAN SPUNK… AHEM, SPONGE.
“Me mother says I must be quick to get me bit o’ spotted dick.”