La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.
Today would be my sister Dale’s 73rd birthday. It’s impossible for me to imagine Dale at 73 years old. She died at the age of 29, and she was my older sister. I wasn’t emotionally mature (nor stable) when she died and it took me years (decades) to settle into a life knowing she wasn’t in it. I do still miss her. I’d love for her to know all the different directions my life has taken during these 43 years. She’d be surprised. Or maybe not.
She was the first of us to run away from home. Granted she was 21 and got married. But still, she and I were always the same in our desire to run far away. She made it to England where she lived for most of the next 9 years, after her first two months in Edinburgh and a couple of years in Germany (West Germany at the time).
I like imagining her traveling around Spain when she was still single and only 19. I know she was in Madrid and Toledo. I’m pretty sure she was in Córdoba. Someone proposed to her and shoved a diamond ring under her hotel room door in Madrid. She returned the ring (although she stole the old brass room key). She was proposed to a couple of other times during that trip. There was only that one ring, but more room keys, and ashtrays, and anything else that wasn’t nailed down.
Here are a few morning shots from the terrace for you to contemplate. Our new apartment faces NNE and has a very broad vista. I wonder what we’ll see of the sunrises and sunsets. Here’s what we saw this morning. And one photo of Dale.
Hoy sería el 73 cumpleaños de mi hermana Dale. Me resulta imposible imaginarla a los 73 años. Murió a los 29 años y era mi hermana mayor. Yo no estaba emocionalmente madura (ni estable) cuando murió y me llevó años (décadas) adaptarme a una vida sabiendo que ella no estaba en ella. Todavía la extraño. Me encantaría que supiera todos los rumbos diferentes que ha tomado mi vida durante estos 43 años. Se sorprendería. O tal vez no.
Fue la primera de nosotros en escapar de casa. Es cierto que tenía 21 años y se casó. Pero aun así, ella y yo siempre tuvimos el mismo deseo de escapar. Llegó a Inglaterra, donde vivió la mayor parte de los siguientes 9 años, después de sus primeros dos meses en Edimburgo y un par de años en Alemania (Alemania Occidental en ese momento).
Me gusta imaginarla viajando por España cuando todavía estaba soltera y tenía solo 19 años. Sé que estuvo en Madrid y Toledo. Estoy bastante segura de que estuvo en Córdoba. Alguien le propuso matrimonio y metió un anillo de diamantes debajo de la puerta de su habitación de hotel en Madrid. Ella devolvió el anillo (aunque robó la vieja llave de latón de la habitación). Le propusieron matrimonio un par de veces más durante ese viaje. Solo había ese anillo, pero había más llaves de la habitación, ceniceros y todo lo demás que no estaba clavado en un lugar seguro.
Aquí hay algunas fotos matinales desde la terraza para que las contemples. Nuestro nuevo apartamento está orientado al NNE y tiene una vista muy amplia. Me pregunto qué veremos de los amaneceres y atardeceres. Esto es lo que vimos esta mañana. Y una foto de Dale.
• Dale, 1971. The same year she was here in Spain.
• Dale, 1971. Lo mismo año que estuvo aquí en España.
Click the thumbnails to enlarge.
Haz clic en las miniaturas para ampliar.
Oh, Mitch, I’m so glad that Dale was in Córdoba and other places in Spain that you have been (you’ve been to Toledo, yes? ). So glad. To me, that’s really heartwarming… to know that she saw some of the same buildings as you see, and will see. Connection.
Thanks for these fabulous sea views all these years. I look forward to sunrises and sunsets with a new perspective.
Judy C:
I still have a letter opener Dale bought me in Toledo. The first time we were there, I looked in the souvenir shops and found the same one. There was something a little magical about that. I also imagined her walking around Madrid when I was there.
From your stories and descriptions, Dale lived life to the fullest. A short life, but a vibrant one.
Debra:
Dale lived a fantasy life in her head. She imagined herself being swept up by a prince (on any color horse; she loved horses) and taken to a foreign land. It happened to the shock of some people who knew her.
Seems wanderlust runs in the family with first Dale travelling the world and then yourself.
Shirley:
Dale was my inspiration to travel and I started when I was 18 and she was already living in England.
Dale lived a full and significant life even though short. Happy birthday, Dale, from boud
Boud:
She did. She squeezed a lot into that time.
I always thought your sister looked like a fashionista. My mother lost a sister at sixteen of a brain tumor. She says all the time Betty will always be 16 in her eyes.
Madds:
She WAS a fashionista. She even went to modeling school, just because she could. She loved it. She told me how to dress… and dance… and spend too much money on clothes. I understand how your mother feels. They become frozen in time. Truth is, Dale is frozen in my mind in our teen years. Dale, too, had a brain tumor (at the age of 26). She survived that beyond all odds only to die of bone cancers 3-1/2 years later.
Lovely story about your dear sister, and lovely – if somewhat moody – views of sunrise over the Med! Jx
Jon:
So much time has passed. She’ll always be in my head (and heart). Moody days here. Strong probability of rain yesterday. Then, none. Still a chance today. Terribly humid.
It’s so strange to think of you in a new apartment, after years of seeing your beach photos. Probably stranger for me than for you, because I’ve only ever known you in Fuengirola, but I know you’ve moved a lot over the years. What a great connection to Cordoba, knowing Dale was probably there years ago!
Steve:
Yes, this is the way we do it. Living in one place for 11 years has been an anomaly. Whenever we’ve visited a popular tourist city here, I think of Dale and imagine her walking down the street (and buying me souvineers, some of which I still have):
Thank you for this post because it reminded me how lucky I am to have my sister. We are very close. She is six years younger than me, but we’ve always been close. She and I have been working together to plan my mother’s 90th birthday party. I couldn’t do this alone! Your words about your sister were very touching.
Michael:
I always love when you mention your sister. Dale and I didn’t have the same balance that I think you two have, but she truly was the center of my universe before SG. We met 5 months after she died.
Dale would be SO proud of you, Mitchell! Savour those memories.
Jim:
I know she would. She was the one I always knew was proud of me. Chuck idolized me, but it wasn’t the same. Dale believed in me, confided in me, asked my advice. We were friends!
Your sister looks lovely. I empathize with you having lost my only sister eight years ago. She was my best friend and I still miss her like crazy. Who knows, maybe they can still know something about us after all this time. I like to think they’re never really gone as long as we carry them in our hearts.
Kelly:
I like to believe, even though I’m not a believer, that she’s been watching all these years. You’re right that they’re never truly gone as long we carry them in our hearts. (Oh crud, I just got teary eyed.) I know you understand.
What a beautiful woman she was!
I just finished listening to Whoopi Goldberg’s memoir and after her mother and her brother died she felt so bereft and rootless. She still does and it’s been years. We never get over the deaths of the ones who have known us since birth, do we?
But I think you have honored her spirit your entire life and continue to do so.
It makes me laugh a little to think how much like your mother she was when it came to taking things from hotels.
And those skies- I love the clouds in all their drama and glory.
Moonsigh
Moonsigh:
She definitely was a beauty. Within the family, she was often only appreciated for that and not given credit for much else. She had an incredible generosity of spirit. If you were in need or worse off than she was, she was the first one there. I will definitely share some of those stories.
She was stunning. It’s no wonder she kept needing to fend off the men.
I hope you feel her spirit with you, Mitchell. I’m sure she’d be/is proud of her “baby” brother.
Anon:
She WAS that! And kind and caring.
Immortality, is being remembered. Love the photos, looking forward to new vistas.
David:
So true about immortality!
Your love for Dale just oozes out of that post; she sounds like a wonderful human being. You two were quite lucky to have one another.
Bob:
I don’t know if we would have survived our childhoods without each other. Neither of us ended up in those years all that emotionally sound. But she powered through everything. She WAS a wonderful human being. I need to tell some stories about what she was truly like as a person.
Wow! You still have an amazing view. How much is the rent in Spain? I am five years away from retirement.
Joseph Alberto:
Tough question. That’s like asking how much the rent/real estate is in the USA. Depends on the city, village, town, location. So many factors. Where we’re going is more affordable because it has less AirB&Bs and tourist-only accomodations. Locals can actually still afford to live there. Here, there are hardly any options of long-term rentals.
I do see what I assume to be the Mediterranean behind Dale, so she got to enjoy a similar view that you do now.
Kirk:
Definitely the Mediterrean. I think it was Israel but it could have been Greece. She got around that summer. She showed me a picture of the guy who proposed to her in Israel.
What lovely yet bittersweet memories. Olivia
Olivia:
It took a long time for me be able to talk about Dale without getting teary. So many stories.
{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}
Sassybear:
Thanks for that! Sending a huge one back to you!
I had forgotten about your sister; thank you for sharing your thoughts about her.
Urspo:
She has become this sort of superior being in my writing. She was so human, so imperfect, and we adored each other.
Beautiful Dale. I hope you have a lovely view from the new apartment.
Love,
Janie
janiejunebug:
I look forward to sharing the view and the city. Yes, beautiful Dale. And she had a beautiful soul, too.