Be My Little Baby / Se Mi Pequeño Bebé

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

AFTER EXHAUSTING DAYS for Kathleen, my pal Luke’s little brother has arrived. Two days in the hospital, mostly in labor, and then finally a Caesarean. We haven’t yet met the newest member of the family; Kathleen needs her rest. But Luke met his little brother today and appears to approve. Everything went well, just slowly.

Kathleen was talking yesterday about how dilated she was and how dilated she needed to be, but she got inches and centimeters confused — she WAS a bit preoccupied. As she repeatedly reminded us, she was pregnant (remember yesterday’s blog post). She said 10 inches, when she was talking about 10 centimeters. If you can’t figure it out on your own (I can’t), 10 cm (what she was waiting for) is less than 4 inches. So, 10 inches (25 cm) would have been an impossibly long wait. Besides, if it had actually been inches, the baby would have walked out on his own two days ago.

Isn’t it usually MEN who say 9
when it’s really only 3.5?

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DESPUÉS DE DÍAS
agotadores para Kathleen, el hermanito de mi compadre Luke ha llegado. Dos días en el hospital, principalmente en trabajo de parto, y finalmente una cesárea. Todavía no hemos conocido al nuevo miembro de la familia; Kathleen necesita descansar. Pero Luke conoció a su hermanito hoy y parece aprobarlo. Todo salió bien, solo lentamente.

Kathleen estaba hablando ayer de cuán dilatada estaba y qué tan dilatada necesitaba estar, pero estaba confundida por pulgadas y centímetros; estaba un poco preocupada. Como ella nos recordó repetidamente, estaba embarazada (recuerde la entrada de ayer). Ella dijo 10 pulgadas, cuando hablaba de 10 centímetros. Si no puedes resolverlo por su cuenta (no puedo), 10 cm (lo que estaba esperando) es menos de 4 pulgadas. Entonces, 10 pulgadas (25 cm) habrían sido una espera increíblemente larga. Además, si realmente hubiera sido pulgadas, el bebé se habría ido solo hace dos días.

¿No son usualmente HOMBRES los que dicen 9
cuando en realidad es solo 3.5?

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The Pain Of Childbirth

Our friends Kathleen and Pedro (parents of 16-month-old Luke) were moving furniture out of an old apartment last week when Pedro hurt his back. It was so bad they ended up hiring someone to finish the work. It’s been a few days and, although it’s much better than it was, Pedro’s back is still causing him some pain. We met for dinner last night and immediately noticed that he was moving stiffly.

“It feels like childbirth,” he moaned.

LUKE: “YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!”

“It’s better than it was,” Pedro had the nerve (balls?) to continue. “At first the pain was so bad I felt like I was giving birth to twins.”

(Click the images to feel Pedro’s pain.)

IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE CHILDBIRTH, DOESN’T IT?
A COUPLE OF WEEKS BEFORE LABOR.
(LUKE’S PHONY CAMERA SMILE.)

So glad, for Kathleen’s sake, it wasn’t Man Flu. I’ve heard that’s even worse than childbirth.