Skumfiduser XXL

La versión en español está después de la versión en inglés.

I SPENT THREE HOURS WALKING yesterday. I stopped (and stood) for a total of 30 minutes. Other than that, I was on the move and mostly outside. There was only a breeze (at times brisk), the sun was shining, and the temperature reached 22˚C / 72˚F. Today is just about the same. Without the breeze. The glass curtain will be washed this afternoon.

My major success on my walk occurred because I started out before the shops completely closed for the day. I came upon the best gift shop I’ve seen in town (where many of their products can be personalized) and I found just what I was looking for as the other “prize” (click here) for TexasTrailerParkTrash. See immediately below for the two items I’ll be sending to Texas tomorrow.

TexasTrailerParkTrash told me to not look for something at the Sex Shop, which severely limited my options. I did, however, pass by the Sex Shop as I continued my walk. I also stopped at a gourmet candy shop and filled a bag with dark chocolate–covered raisins for San Geraldo (his favorite). He put the bag in the kitchen and tied a knot in the top, so it’s not too easy for him to get at them.

In Flying Tiger, a Danish chain of gift shops, I came across a lot of sweets with unintentional (I think) sexual inuendos (when you’re only 12, like me, everything is a sexual inuendo). Balls of all colors (and flavors), even salty ones. Huge, XXL, giant, enormous, colossal, mega, humongous — marshmallows. But my favorite of all were the rainbow marshmallows with the unicorn on the package. The label reads Skumfiduser marshmallows, which I first read as Skumdiffuser. Did you know skumfiduser is marshmallows in Danish? It’s my new favorite word.

I just returned from another great walk and workout at the gym, where I behaved like a mature adult. I hope it doesn’t last.


AYER PASÉ TRES HORAS CAMINANDO. Me detuve (y me paré) durante un total de 30 minutos. Aparte de eso, estaba en movimiento y mayormente afuera. Solo había una brisa (a veces fresca), el sol brillaba y la temperatura alcanzó los 22˚C / 72˚F. Hoy es casi lo mismo. Sin la brisa. La cortina de cristal se lavará esta tarde.

Mi mayor éxito en mi caminata ocurrió porque comencé antes de que las tiendas cerraran por completo durante el día. Encontré la mejor tienda de regalos que he visto en la ciudad (donde muchos de sus productos se pueden personalizar) y encontré justo lo que estaba buscando como el otro “premio” (haz clic aquí) para TexasTrailerParkTrash. Vea inmediatamente a continuación los dos artículos que enviaré a Texas mañana.

TexasTrailerParkTrash me dijeron que no buscara nada en el Sex Shop, lo que limitó seriamente mis opciones. Sin embargo, pasé por el Sex Shop mientras continuaba mi caminata. También me detuve en una tienda de golosinas gourmet y llené una bolsa con pasas cubiertas de chocolate negro para San Geraldo (su favorito). Puso la bolsa en la cocina y le hizo un nudo en la parte superior, para que no le resulte demasiado fácil llegar a ellos.

En Flying Tiger, una cadena danesa de tiendas de regalos, encontré muchos dulces con insinuaciones sexuales no intencionales [creo] (cuando solo tienes 12 años, como yo, todo es una insinuación sexual). Bolas de todos los colores (y sabores), incluso saladas. Enormes, XXL, gigantes, enormes, colosales, mega, descomunales: nubes. Pero mis favoritos de todos fueron los nubes arcoiris con el unicornio en el paquete. La etiqueta dice malvaviscos Skumfiduser, que primero leí como Skumdiffuser [difusor de escoria]. ¿Sabías que skumfiduser es nubes en danés? Es mi nueva palabra favorita.

Acabo de regresar de otro gran camino y entrenamiento en el gimnasio, donde me comporté como un adulto maduro. Espero que no dure.

• Something for everyone.
• Algo para todos.
• The “lady” in fucshia wasn’t there on my last visit. Look at the four stylish hand mixers along the bottom row. I didn’t know they carried kitchen gadgets!
• La “dama” de fucsia no estaba en mi última visita. Mire las cuatro elegantes batidoras de mano a lo largo de la fila inferior. ¡No sabía que llevaban utensilios de cocina!
• I had no idea! A second sex shop on the opposite side of the plaza, right next to a driving school.
• ¡No tenía ni idea! Un segundo sex shop en el lado opuesto de la plaza, justo al lado de una autoescuela.
• I hadn’t noticed trailing from the unicorn’s butt: “I’m so happy I could fart rainbows.”
• No había notado que salía del trasero del unicornio: “Estoy tan feliz de poder tirarme un pedo arcoíris”.


• I could have embroidered anything I wanted on the apron. I decided against TexasTrailerParkTrash. (And now I regret it.)
• Podría haber bordado lo que quisiera en el delantal. Decidí en contra de TexasTrailerParkTrash. (Y ahora me arrepiento.)

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

34 thoughts on “Skumfiduser XXL”

  1. Good choice of Apron. I have one somewhere, I was going to model it for you but luckily for you I can’t find it!

    1. Debra,
      OK, if I have another contest, you’ll have to let me know what color hand mixer you’d prefer.

    1. Wickedhamster,
      And say it like the Swedish Chef. Isn’t it a great word? My problem is, it always comes out first as skumdiffuser. We have Danish friends here. Can’t wait to see them and share what I’ve learned! Actually, I’m expecting a reaction to this post from one of them.

  2. I first saw skumdiffuser, too! I’m calling them that because I don’t like my tongue twisted in this manner. Those licorice balls look kind of familiar, only smaller. I love the bottle openers! That apron is wonderful. I’m sure TTPT will appreciate anything non-sex toy related that you choose to bestow on her.

    1. Deedles,
      I DO have a difficult time pronouncing it correctly! I LOVE licorice balls! I should have more contests. This shop had the best souvenirs! Too bad postage is so absurd. Shipping one of SG’s books costs more than the price of of printing and is projected to take longer, too.

    1. TexasTrailerParkTrash,
      My pleasure. Thank YOU. I hope they don’t take too long to get there and you have sweet thoughts of me when you use them. But are you sure you don’t want one of those hand mixers? They even have them in blue!

  3. Hand mixers! LOL!

    The “Nubes” (?) aren’t THAT huge, it seems to me. They look just like those big ol’ Jet marshmallows we used to buy when I was a kid.

    We have a Flying Tiger shop here, too. They have fun stuff but the killjoy in me frets about factories in China churning out all that non-essential junk! (Surely the factories aren’t in Scandinavia, not that that would make it any better.)

    1. Steve,
      My photo doesn’t do the nubes justice. Bad angle. They were humongous. Oh yeah, I think just about everything comes from China. Flying Tiger claims to be ethical and thorough in its inspection of Chinese manufacturers. I hope so.

  4. Skumfiduser XXL sounds like a new brand of drain de-clogger! I’ll also expect a future post of yours to be entitled, “I’m So Happy I Could Fart Unicorns!”….. on the day of your choosing, of course, LOL!

    1. Tundra Bunny,
      Oh my god. I like this better than your correction. Although, I think it might be “I’m so ANGRY I could fart unicorns.” Painful!

      You have a much cleaner mind than mine.

    1. Wilma,
      It WAS hard to pass up the salted caramel balls. I wanted them right then. Thankfully I had my retainer in my mouth!

    1. Bob,
      I imagine yours being more like salty caramel or even strawberry.

      Not that I’ve actually imagined yours… Not that I wouldn’t… I’m sure they’re very nice… And tasty.

      1. Bob:
        To quote Jerry Seinfeld’s reaction to that information: [crickets]

    1. Kirk,
      Funny you should mention that. Their shopping bags match the aprons and include a Minnie Mouse bow!

  5. Ahhhh, crazy language words! I love that marshmallow one. Really love it… I maybe love your version more?

    1. Judy C,
      It’s good you love my version more, because that’s what comes to mind (and mouth) first!

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