Erotic Tapas: Breast Men

BITE-SIZED.

I haven’t stuck to my commitment of sampling at least one tapa erótica each day of the final five days of competition (click here). Today is the last day and I’ve only been to two places. Saturday night, we finally got back to Meson Salvador (with friends Tynan and Elena) for dinner and the tapa special.

The waiter, Ricardo, told us their theme was pechitos (little breasts). They were very tastefully (in every way) done. Bacon wrapped around sausage, topped by seasoned mash potato with a dollop of slightly spicy sauce; and in the centre of another bit of mashed potato, a heart- (or breasts-) shaped wedge of fried mash. It was charming and exceptionally delicious.

And, in case you don’t know by now, the preceding paragraph is as close to ‘cooking’ as I comfortably get.

TAPA EROTICA AT MESON SALVADOR.

After dinner, San Geraldo told Ricardo he was in the mood for dessert and, before he could even order, Ricardo ran off to do something. We had no idea what. He soon returned with two chocolate chip mini-muffins topped with whipped cream.

POSTRE DE PECHITOS (DESSERT OF LITTLE BREASTS).
SAN GERALDO DID NOT SHARE!

Ricardo said he wanted to maintain the “little breast” theme. That’s more breasts than San Geraldo has had in his lifetime.

Tetas y culo…

Erotic Tapas: I Want Some Seafood, Mama

It’s time for Fuengirola’s 7th Annual Ruta de la Tapa Erótica (Route of the Erotic Tapa). Some of you may remember last year’s event (click here).

One hundred local restaurants are participating, creating their own erotic tapa. You can register and obtain a card to be stamped by each establishment you visit. The tapas are only 2 euros each and include a beverage — beer, wine, water, soft drink. If you’ve registered, you can then vote for your favourite.

I didn’t sample much last year and this year I got a late start. An understatement. The event runs from October 30 to November 15. I finally sampled my first erotic tapa November 11. However, I will try to hit at least one tapas restaurant a day until the “ruta” ends.

My first stop was a nearby restaurant called “La Esquinita” (The Little Corner). It’s an exceptional place that San Geraldo and I only recently discovered. A five-minute walk. Truly local. Very popular. Entirely Spanish. And it took us nearly three years to find it! But we’re so glad we did. Their tapa erotica was well presented and absolutely delicious — as long as I didn’t dwell too long on the symbolism.

INSIDE BAR LA ESQUINITA, LOS BOLICHES.
BREAD, CHIP, AND BOWL ALL CAME TO A POINT.
CHUNKS OF FISH, MUSSELS, ONIONS… IN A RED SAUCE.
AN ENVELOPE SEALED WITH A RED DOT.
THE PRIVATE MESSAGE INSIDE MY ENVELOPE:
“YOU MUST DO THE 69 POSITION.”

“When I come home late at night, I get my favorite dish. Fish!”

Your Feet’s Too Big

You know what they say about big feet. 
Big shoes. 

In American sizing, San Geraldo usually wears a 14 (sometimes 13-1/2). That translates to a 48-1/2 or 49 in Spain. And that translates to very few pairs of shoes among all the shoe stores of Sevilla. When we first tried shopping for shoes here, sales people would laugh when we told them his size.

“Nothing in our store and not much in Southern Spain,” they’d say. “Maybe some more in Northern Spain. But you really should go to Germany or Scandinavia for shoes that big.”

FINALLY, IN THE PLAZA DE LA ENCARNACIÓN, A SHOE FOR SAN GERALDO.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE LARGE SHOE IS ONLY AVAILABLE FOR THE RIGHT FOOT.

Sevilla’s Foot Locker store’s in-stock sizes might go up to a maximum of 47 (my size, 11, translates to 45). They’ll order shoes for San Geraldo (which will ship from Germany), but he would have to pay in advance. Without trying them on. And even with the right size, San Geraldo has a high arch in the wrong place. He’s hard to fit.

The department store, El Corte Inglés, does have some shoes in large sizes. San Geraldo needed new sneakers last month. We went to El Corte Inglés. We already knew the selection in his size was limited, so we simply asked to see everything they had in 48-1/2 and 49. The salesman brought out one pair of white sneakers in 48-1/2. Amazingly, they were a perfect fit.

There are a couple of stores in town that cater specifically to Big Foot (I mean, people with big feet). But the selection isn’t all that exciting, to say the least. Even in the States, the selection was limited. And when we did find something we liked, we’d change our minds after seeing them come out of the box in “clown size.”

San Geraldo’s pedal extremities are colossal!