Erotic Tapas 2016

It’s time for Fuengirola’s 8th Annual Ruta de la Tapa Erótica. (Click here for 2015  and here for 2014). If you don’t feel like looking at those previous posts, I’ll sum it up for you:

A tapa is, basically, a Spanish appetizer, snack, finger food, or canapé — although those labels really don’t cover it. It’s usually inexpensive, and it’s very possibly unusual and delicious. The variety is endless. 

The Ruta de la Tapa Erótica (Route of the Erotic Tapa) is Fuengirola’s annual competition that includes 100 local restaurants. The cost is only €2.50 for a tapa and a drink (inc. wine and beer). To participate for prizes (and to vote on this year’s best tapa erótica), you pick up an “Erotic Tapa Passport” and get it stamped each time you sample a tapa. With ten stamps you are eligible for some very nice prizes. This year there are approximately 50 prizes that include a cruise, luxury hotel stays, TVs, cases of wine, dinners, lunches…

My first evening out on “la ruta,” Pedro, Kathleen, Luke and I hit two places in my neighborhood.

My second evening out, Elena and I hit two other places in the neighborhood. Our second stop had a dish called “Well, grab this!” It was very good but left me tasting fish for the rest of the night. (And that’s all I’m saying.)

EL PLACER DEL VULCANO (THE PLEASURE OF THE VULCAN/O?)

Regarding the previous photo: “Volcano” in Spanish is “Volcán.” So, this is either a misspelling of the English word “volcano” (which is what the dish looks like) or it refers to Mr. Spock’s Pleasure, or The Pleasure of the Sicilian island called Vulcano, or, as Elena suggested, a reference to the pleasure of a woman’s “bits.”

JARDÍN DE EDÉN (GARDEN OF EDEN)
GLAZED PATÉ ‘APPLES’ AND FIG LEAF COOKIES
LUKE FASCINATED BY THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE (OR THE GLITTER).
VALLE DE LA TENTACIÓN
(VALLEY OF TEMPTATION)
MY FAVORITE: WITH ANCHOVY PASTE, HARDBOILED EGG…
PO LLÉVATE ÉSTA!
(WELL, GRAB THIS!)

A Nice Set
Two prizes are of interest to me. They’re listed as “Cestas Eróticas,” which is translated beneath the Spanish on the program as “Erotic Sets.” 
Erotic sets of what you might wonder.

I’m sure anyone would be happy with a nice “set.” Although “cesta” is really a Spanish word for “basket.” I already have a nice basket.
Truth is, I won’t be winning anything. So far, I’ve visited four restaurants and only have three stamps, and it all ends today.

Erotic Tapas: Breast Men

BITE-SIZED.

I haven’t stuck to my commitment of sampling at least one tapa erótica each day of the final five days of competition (click here). Today is the last day and I’ve only been to two places. Saturday night, we finally got back to Meson Salvador (with friends Tynan and Elena) for dinner and the tapa special.

The waiter, Ricardo, told us their theme was pechitos (little breasts). They were very tastefully (in every way) done. Bacon wrapped around sausage, topped by seasoned mash potato with a dollop of slightly spicy sauce; and in the centre of another bit of mashed potato, a heart- (or breasts-) shaped wedge of fried mash. It was charming and exceptionally delicious.

And, in case you don’t know by now, the preceding paragraph is as close to ‘cooking’ as I comfortably get.

TAPA EROTICA AT MESON SALVADOR.

After dinner, San Geraldo told Ricardo he was in the mood for dessert and, before he could even order, Ricardo ran off to do something. We had no idea what. He soon returned with two chocolate chip mini-muffins topped with whipped cream.

POSTRE DE PECHITOS (DESSERT OF LITTLE BREASTS).
SAN GERALDO DID NOT SHARE!

Ricardo said he wanted to maintain the “little breast” theme. That’s more breasts than San Geraldo has had in his lifetime.

Tetas y culo…

Erotic Tapas: I Want Some Seafood, Mama

It’s time for Fuengirola’s 7th Annual Ruta de la Tapa Erótica (Route of the Erotic Tapa). Some of you may remember last year’s event (click here).

One hundred local restaurants are participating, creating their own erotic tapa. You can register and obtain a card to be stamped by each establishment you visit. The tapas are only 2 euros each and include a beverage — beer, wine, water, soft drink. If you’ve registered, you can then vote for your favourite.

I didn’t sample much last year and this year I got a late start. An understatement. The event runs from October 30 to November 15. I finally sampled my first erotic tapa November 11. However, I will try to hit at least one tapas restaurant a day until the “ruta” ends.

My first stop was a nearby restaurant called “La Esquinita” (The Little Corner). It’s an exceptional place that San Geraldo and I only recently discovered. A five-minute walk. Truly local. Very popular. Entirely Spanish. And it took us nearly three years to find it! But we’re so glad we did. Their tapa erotica was well presented and absolutely delicious — as long as I didn’t dwell too long on the symbolism.

INSIDE BAR LA ESQUINITA, LOS BOLICHES.
BREAD, CHIP, AND BOWL ALL CAME TO A POINT.
CHUNKS OF FISH, MUSSELS, ONIONS… IN A RED SAUCE.
AN ENVELOPE SEALED WITH A RED DOT.
THE PRIVATE MESSAGE INSIDE MY ENVELOPE:
“YOU MUST DO THE 69 POSITION.”

“When I come home late at night, I get my favorite dish. Fish!”