Half cocked and the hooker / Medio amartillado y la prostituta

La versión de español está después de la versión en inglés.

I HAD A GREAT WALK this morning under brilliant blue skies. Perfection. During my walk down the stairs, I saw the hooker on Floor 2 looking a bit worse for wear. I don’t know if it means business has been good or bad. There was a lot of vehicular traffic in town — well, on the beach. I wanted to say it was bumper to bumper but it was really fender to fender. The pedal boats have returned but aren’t yet in operation. I anxiously await my next driving exam. Can I just drive one of those instead? No license required. The cats have been spending a lot of time on the terrace table waiting for the doves to return (click here). Yesterday afternoon, I managed to catch Moose in action (or inaction). I spotted a couple of guys on the beach sporting Fuengirola’s one-shorts-leg-shorter-than-the-other look. You’ll find them below followed by a bit of a surprise.

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HE TENIDO UN GRAN PASEO esta mañana bajo un cielo azul brillante. Perfección. Mientras bajaba las escaleras, vi que la prostituta del piso 2 se veía un poco peor por el desgaste. No sé si eso significa que el negocio ha ido bien o mal. Había mucho tráfico de vehículos en la ciudad — bueno, en la playa. Quería decir que era parachoques contra parachoques, pero realmente era guardabarros contra guardabarros. Los botes a pedales han regresado pero aún no están en funcionamiento. Espero ansiosamente mi próximo examen de conducir. ¿Puedo conducir uno de esos en su lugar? No se requiere carnet. Los gatos llevan mucho tiempo en la mesa de la terraza esperando que regresen las palomas (haz clic aquí). Ayer por la tarde logré atrapar a Moose en acción (o inacción). Vi a un par de tipos en la playa luciendo el estilo de Fuengirola de un pantalón corto más corto que el otro. Los encontrarás a continuación seguido de un poco de sorpresa.

• Before I came across the guys in misaligned shorts, I was walking on the beach and saw this couple. Our beaches are topless (you have to drive 10 minutes out of town in either direction for the nearest nude beaches). So, there was at first nothing surprising about this couple. But then I took another look at how far the guy’s swimsuit had been lowered. This is what I meant in the title by “half cocked.” That’s going to be an interesting tan line. It was really half cocked and part of a ball.
• Antes de encontrarme con los tipos con pantalones cortos desalineados, estaba caminando por la playa. Nuestras playas son en topless (tienes que conducir 10 minutos fuera de la ciudad en cualquier dirección para las playas nudistas más cercanas). Entonces, al principio no hubo nada sorprendente en esta pareja. Pero luego eché otro vistazo a lo mucho que se había bajado el traje de baño del tipo. Esto es lo que quise decir en el título con “medio amartillado.” Será una línea de bronceado interesante. Realmente, fue medio amartillado y parte de una bola.

• I read and I obeyed. She never even knew I was there.
• Leí y obedecí. Ella ni siquiera supo que yo estaba allí. El sombrero dice “no molestar.”

Author: Moving with Mitchell

From Brooklyn, New York; to North Massapequa; back to Brooklyn; Brockport, New York; back to Brooklyn... To Boston, Massachusetts, where I met Jerry... To Marina del Rey, California; Washington, DC; New Haven and Guilford, Connecticut; San Diego, San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Santa Barbara, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Irvine, California; Sevilla, Spain. And Fuengirola, Málaga..

34 thoughts on “Half cocked and the hooker / Medio amartillado y la prostituta”

  1. Either your beaches (and Barbies) are more interesting than ours, or I’m not paying attention. The latter is probably true.

    1. chrissoup:
      Well, I’ve seen some interesting sights on other beaches (and among other Barbies), but I’m here a lot more.

  2. That doll just gets more and more disturbing.

    As for the guy on the beach…that is likely to be a sunburn he won’t soon forget. Yowza.

    1. Mary:
      That guy seemed to have an all-over town, so maybe the nether regions have been there before. And, yes, that doll is creepy.

    1. Debra:
      I wondered if her head was now on backwards. Maybe she needs an exorcist.

  3. Oh, those Europeans and their libertine ways! LOL

    The “hooker” looks like she’s doing a good impersonation of Cousin It.

    1. Steve:
      The last time I was on a beach in England (Scarborough in the late ’70s), no one took their shoes and socks off and the men were mostly in suits and ties. A very different experience. I was wondering if that was Cousin Itt or a scene Linda Blair. I was afraid to lift the hair and discovery her head had spun.

  4. How low can you go? Why not just go to the nude beach and get it over with? lol
    Good that it was a perfect day for walking…..nothing better.

    1. Jim:
      I DO wonder. The nude beaches are more secluded and picturesque than our city beaches, and there’s a beautiful chiringuito right next to one of them.

    1. Wilma:
      I’d prefer if Moose’s vigilance were not rewarded. (Dudo was up there last night.) I’d really prefer to not see bird piles of dove crap on the ledge.

  5. That doll’s walk of shame gets ickier every day!

    And that will be some painful sunburn.

    1. Bob:
      It looks like that wasn’t the first time his “privates” were exposed. Maybe they don’t burn. I burned mine once!

  6. Ok you have a horror movie happening on floor 2! That’s the sign! Move out now!!

    1. Kathleen:
      I would have lifted her hair but I was afraid I’d find a scene from the Exorcist!

  7. Those pedal boats with slides look fun, though obviously not for solo users. Poor Moose — he’s the definition of “looking wistfully out a window, waiting for someone to visit”, LOL!

    1. Tundra Bunny:
      Dudo and Moose have been taking turns on lookout. I think the doves have decided there are less inhabited spots in the building (and anywhere in town).

    1. Jennifer:
      It looks like he’s already got an allover tan. Maybe he doesn’t burn.

    1. Walt the Fourth:
      Yeah. I learned my lesson my very first time on Black’s Beach in San Diego — front and back!

  8. Yippppppeeeeeee! The colorful car paddle boats make me happy…and so does the almost cock popping out!!!!! Hey…he is handsome! Not that I would mind seeing them, I’m not phased by nudity but if they wanted that much tan, I wonder why they just didn’t go to the nude beach?

    1. Mistress Borghese:
      I see so many guys pulling their shorts/suits down to extreme levels and then tugging them up to cover the rest, but this the first time I’ve seen that. Yeah, I’d hit the nude beach. And, yes, they were a beautiful couple.

    1. Kirk:
      I would imagine it does if it’s thick enough, but that looked like an awful lot of skin!

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